Praise God for Same-Sex Marriages

Today, for the first time in the UK, same-sex couples can be legally married.  This is a wonderful victory for equality, and something to be celebrated.  God's grace, gifts & sacraments should be available to all.

On this momentous day, I'd like to offer a prayer and a blessing for all those who will be entering into marriages ...
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Prayer:
Eternal God, creator and preserver of all life, author of salvation, and giver of all grace: Look with favour upon the world you have made, and especially upon those who will be committing to a life of love together from today.

Give them wisdom and devotion in the ordering of their common life, that each may be to the other a strength in need, a counsellor in perplexity, a comfort in sorrow, and a companion in joy.  Grant that their wills may be so knit together in your will, and their spirits in your spirit, that they may grow in love and peace with you and one another all the days of their life.

Give them grace, when they hurt each other, to recognise and acknowledge their fault, and to seek each other’s forgiveness and yours.

Make their life together a sign of Christ’s love to this sinful and broken world, that unity may overcome estrangement, forgiveness heal guilt, and joy conquer despair.  Give them such fulfilment of their mutual affection that they may reach out in love and concern for others. Protect them from those who would wish them harm, and surround them with your grace and a community that loves and supports them.

Grant that the bonds of our common humanity, by which all your children are united to one another, and the living to the dead, may be so transformed by your grace, that your will may be done now and forever; through Jesus Christ, our Saviour.

Amen.

Blessing:

May the blessing of God surround us

May angels and friends share our journey

May we be wise and strong and creative

May we celebrate life and hope

May we walk peacefully with Mother Earth.

May God’s image grow within us

May laughter and courage heal us

May the gospel of life sustain us

All the days of our journey home.

And may my own blessing be yours;

A blessing rooted in our common pilgrimage

The blessing of a friend.

Amen

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 Prayer, adapted from:

Ward, H. & Wild, J. (eds). Human Rites. Mowbray. 1995

 Blessing taken from:

The Iona Community; The Pattern of our Days. Wild Goose Pulbications. 1997
Burgess, R. & Galloway, K. (eds); Praying for the Dawn. Wild Goose Publications. 2000
Ward, H., Wild, J. & Morley, J. (eds); Celebrating Women. SPCK. 1995

LGBTI Anglican Coalition's response to the House of Bishops's "Pastoral" Guidance

LGBTI Anglican Coalition
www.lgbtac.org.uk contact@lgbtac.org.uk
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21 February 2014. LGBTI Anglican Coalition Open Letter to House Of Bishops Regarding Pastoral Guidance On Same Sex Marriage, Issued 14 February 2014

Dear Bishops
As you are aware, the letter issued by the House of Bishops on St Valentine’s Day has profoundly undermined the hopes expressed by the Archbishop of Canterbury and others for “good disagreement”. The image of the church in wider society has been further damaged, with headline messages such as ‘Church of England in snub to gay community’.

We remain committed to the need for prayer and facilitated conversations, as recommended in the Pilling Report and requested by the Church of England. However, it is hard to see how such conversations can be productive, in the light of this statement. In an attempt to re‐establish some positive foundations, we request answers to the following questions:

First, we note the traditional Anglican ‘insistence upon the duty of thinking and learning as essential elements in the Christian life’ (Lambeth Conference 1930) and ‘facing with intellectual integrity the questions raised by modern knowledge’ (Lambeth 1958), which has led to change on such matters as contraception. Please could you clarify how the House of Bishops has sought to inform itself in a systematic way of the work of the numerous Anglican and other theologians from 1940 onwards who have argued that loving committed same‐sex partnerships should be affirmed, and demonstrate that it has seriously considered the arguments of more than a handful of these before issuing statements such as this pastoral guidance?

Secondly, in view of repeated calls from the Lambeth Conference since 1978 for deep study of sexuality, including dialogue with homosexual people, echoed by the Church of England from 1979, please could you explain how the findings from subsequent dialogue with lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex (LGBTI) people and wider discussion have been collected by, and informed the thinking of, the House of Bishops?

Thirdly, given that the 1988 Lambeth Conference urged that such study and reflection take account of ‘the socio‐cultural factors that lead to the different attitudes in the provinces of our Communion’, how has the House of Bishops approached the difficult task of seeking to understand the socio‐cultural factors which might have influenced its members’ views on sexual ethics?

Fourthly, what efforts have been made to gather and analyse the comments of those who have studied Issues in human sexuality and Men and women in marriage, and how have the findings been taken into account in this pastoral statement?

Fifthly, as you know, there are many LGBTI clergy who, in good conscience seeking to model their household according to the way of Christ, are intending to marry or to convert their civil partnership to marriage. How will you ensure that these clergy can contribute fully and equally to the proposed discussions, without fear of sanction?

Finally, we would ask how you intend to resolve the issues of the presumed bipolarity of male and female in gender and sexual orientations and in their relationships in the light of the latest scientific and theological knowledge, so that all people, intersex, transgendered, lesbian, gay, bisexual and heterosexual, who seek to enter committed, loving and faithful relationships can find their rightful place within a renewed church which draws its teaching from the New Covenant and the unconditional love of Christ?

Yours sincerely
Mike Dark and John Blowers,
Joint‐Chair, LGBTI Anglican Coalition.

END


Member Groups
The Anglican Coalition provides UK based Christian LGBTI organisations with opportunities to create resources for the Anglican community and to develop a shared voice for the full acceptance of LGBTI people in the Anglican Communion.

The Group Members are as follows:
Accepting Evangelicals is a open network of Evangelical Christians who believe the time has come to move towards the acceptance of faithful, loving same‐sex partnerships at every level of church life.
http://www.acceptingevangelicals.org

Changing Attitude is a campaigning group drawn by God’s love to work for the full inclusion of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people in the Anglican Communion.
http://www.changingattitude.org.uk

The Evangelical Fellowship for Lesbian and Gay Christians (EFLGC), formed in 1979, is a group of women and men, most of whom are lesbian, gay or bisexual and come from an evangelical Christian background.
http://www.eflgc.org.uk

Inclusive Church is a network of individuals and organisations working to break down the barriers to full inclusion at all levels of the Church of England.
http://www.inclusive‐church.org.uk

The Lesbian and Gay Christian Movement is a UK‐based international Charity which challenges
homophobia and transphobia, especially within the Church and faith based organisations.
http://lgcm.org.uk

The Sibyls is a UK‐based confidential Christian spirituality group for transgender people, and their
supporters.
http://www.sibyls.co.uk

The Two:23 Network is a new network of Christians, connected by LGBT issues that aims to include and encourage all to discover the love of God for themselves, pursue the call of Christ and live in a way that cherishes others just as God cherishes us. It has developed from the LGBT‐affirming ministry of Courage.
http://two23.net/

THE UK Intersex Association Intersex people are individuals whose anatomy or physiology differ from contemporary cultural stereotypes of what constitute typical male and female. The United Kingdom Intersex Association (UKIA) is an education, advocacy, campaigning and support organisation which works on behalf of Intersex people.
http://www.ukia.co.uk/

My response to the House of Bishops' "Pastoral" Guidance

On 15 February, the House of Bishops released their "Pastoral" Guidance on Same Sex Marriage (text here).  That they would draw up the document on Valentine's Day is a kick in the teeth, that they would embargo it until the next day is less than honest.

Following on from an article in the Church Times, where I offered my view on the House of Bishops' "Pastoral" Guidance (see a copy here), I'd like to add to what I expressed there, and give some context.

Two sections are of particular interest to me:

Acts of worship following civil same sex weddings
21.  The same approach as commended in the 2005 statement should therefore apply to couples who enter same-sex marriage, on the assumption that any prayer will be accompanied by pastoral discussion of the church's teaching and their reasons for departing from it. Services of blessing should not be provided. Clergy should respond pastorally and sensitively in other ways.Clergy and ordinands
27.  The House is not, therefore, willing for those who are in a same sex marriage to be ordained to any of the three orders of ministry. In addition it considers that it would not be appropriate conduct for someone in holy orders to enter into a same sex marriage, given the need for clergy to model the Church's teaching in their lives.

When it comes to equality, unless we are capable of preaching a positive message, we are - in fact - preaching a negative one.  If you produce something that mentions that the LGBT community and/or their relationships are a deviation from the norm, it will be used to oppress people.

As a Church, surely we have to be sending out a message that affirms, includes & CELEBRATES our LGBT community - their gifts, talents, hopes & dreams & their desire to commit to loving same-sex partners that will benefit their local community & our faith communities.

Currently, the message being given out is that we endure or tolerate our LGBT members ... which is a negative message, not a positive one.  You tolerate or endure an illness or a mouth ulcer, not a human being.

What's more, if you send out a message of tolerating or enduring someone, you're encouraging them to see themselves as a burden, as somehow less worthy than other members of the community, thereby adding to issues of self-worth and mental health. I believe the Church should be affirming and blessing people, not making them feel inferior or imperfect.

Sadly, though, once again, we are being asked to create an "Us and them" mindset. We are being asked to make the LGBT people in our congregations feel inferior by discussing with them how they've departed from Church teaching.  There are those that can, by their nature, live within Church teaching, and those who now, simply because of who they are, can never comply with it.

There is no way that church can be a welcoming place, while the institution aims to highlight the reasons why you are departing from Church teaching, rather than celebrate your presence & your gifts.  In addition, this difference which we are being asked to highlight will, in effect, enable others to discriminate against LGBT church members.
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To illustrate, I'll share some of my experiences under "Issues in Human Sexuality".  "Issues" was a guide to facilitate discussion in the Church on sexuality.

In reality, many Diocesan bishops, Diocesan Directors of Ordination and clergy used it as ratification to enforce their own bigoted views, and discipline anyone who didn't comply.  It was treated as Canon Law, rather than a discussion document. 

           I came to faith at the age of 17, and - at the age of 18 - entered into full-time ministry as a Pioneer Youth Worker & missionary in disadvantaged rural communities in South Africa.  From there, I entered into employment as a full-time Youth Pastor in my home diocese, where I worked for 6 years, developing a ministry across the city and across the diocese; training youth pastors, and running regional youth camps and mission and evangelism initiatives in several local schools, and - together with non-denominational groups - ran programmes that ministered to thousands of young people across the city over the summer holiday period.  I ran teen groups, junior groups, toddler groups, young adult groups and student groups, ran training events for youth groups and youth pastors.

            At the same time, I was struggling with my own sexual identity, but was aware of the wretched “Issues in Human Sexuality” document, and so remained celibate and desperately lonely, and even subjected myself to 3 years of reparative therapy and support groups aimed at making me straight.  They were the 3 single most miserable years of my life, where I began to believe that I either didn’t have enough faith to change who I was, or didn’t matter enough to God to be granted a change.  I lost contact with my family (the group & counsellor’s advice was that I was gay by nurture, and that I needed to distance myself from those that had caused me to have this “broken identity”), and I remember sharing with a friend that the only reason I did not commit suicide, was because I believed the hell I found myself in was somehow better than the hell I would go to for being gay.

            By this stage, I was also juggling a Theology degree by distance learning, and the Diocese had ordained me to the diaconate, and I was serving my curacy.  At my lowest point, my training rector asked me to confide in him what was going on in my private life, and I shared what I was feeling, grateful to get it out in the open.

            What followed was a systematic breakdown of my private and professional life; I was subjected to him spreading rumours about me around the parish, trying to force me into a relationship with the parish youth worker and - when we both refused - he tried to force us to cohabit in the parish house, he had public notices about me pinned to external noticeboards, stating that I had strayed and needed to be disciplined.

            When I approached the Diocese for help, I was reminded that rank mattered more than integrity, & was told that - as the junior priest - I would need to be disciplined.  I was removed from post and given 3 weeks to vacate the parish house, with no post to go to.

            Thankfully, I had the opportunity to leave there, and move to the UK.  After 9 years of ministry in that Diocese, the only sentence in my reference stated that, “it has come to our attention that this priest is gay, but this has not proven a problem yet.”

            That, thankfully is behind me, and I’m at peace with myself, and my identity, and am able to see that I am exactly as God intended me to be.  However, I offer all of that, as evidence of how misused “Issues in Human Sexuality” could be.  My superiors in that Diocese saw no incongruence between scripture and the way that they were acting, and “Issues in Human Sexuality” gave them the permission they needed to act in that way, and do so boldly.
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I think the House of Bishops forgets how diverse the Church is, and how very differently authority, hierarchy, theology, exegesis and practical application are treated around the world.  I sincerely hope this is not the case, but there will probably be places where the new guidance is going to be used for a witch-hunt of LGBT clergy & parishioners.

In the same way that "Issues" gave bullies and bigots the permission they needed to oppress & punish people within their churches, the new "Pastoral" guidance will give them the permission they need to discipline and shame clergy.

LGBT Clergy often cannot safely engage in the debate about this matter, because being outspoken comes at a price to your career.  If you're not sidelined by your colleagues, you're overlooked for senior posts.  How can free and fair debate take place, when one side is allowed to be as outspoken as they wish, and the other fears for their careers, their families and their lives?

These are dangerous times for young LGBT Christians in many of our churches ... having been discredited and banned by professional psychotherapy & counselling bodies in the West, we're seeing an increase in courses in Reparative Therapy (and even Aversion therapy) being offered in churches across the world, where these harmful (& sometimes fatal) treatments can operate without regulation.

This is not a time where the Church can afford to be anything less than welcoming and affirming to the LGBT community.

If you have a voice, please do use it ... write to the Editor of the Church Times, or your faith / denomination newsletter.  For too long, people have been making decisions about the LGBT community without considering or consulting us.  That needs to stop for true communication and change to happen.

Help bring an end to the #GayBloodBan!

When I've challenged the National Blood Service's ban on gay blood in the past, I've received the same dodgy response each time (on one occasion, it was a skew photocopied note that had been typed on a typewriter - this was 2005).  When challenged, their response is that there is evidence that tells them that gay blood is a higher risk group, and therefore they ban all gay blood. The evidence referred to is often from decades ago.

They now proudly state that they've partially lifted the ban to allow gay men to donate blood, as long as they've been celibate for a full 12 months prior to the donation date.

However, that makes no sense. All blood should be tested routinely anyway, and safe sex is much more prevalent in the gay community than it is in the straight community. So, there is no basis for the National Blood Service's ban on gay blood, other than discrimination.

Gay men are excluded if they have sex, even protected sex, with a lifelong partner - even once - in the 12 month period before the donation date. Straight men who have unprotected sex with numerous partners can donate freely.
That's purposely placing an impossible hurdle in the way of gay men, purely to exclude them from donation.

Read this Pink News article about the petition, and then sign this petition to help bring a stop to this nonsensical ban which is discriminatory & adds to the blood shortage ... http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/allow-gay-and-bisexual-men-to-donate-blood-in-britain.html

Happy International Women's Day

With gratitude for the women who have played, and play, a role in shaping my life.

This list obviously includes my mother, who instilled the virtues of right & wrong in me, taught me how to manage my life and my household, taught me to cook, iron, clean, but also taught me how to assert myself, have a good argument, make my will known and stand firm.  When we were victims of the economic downturn in South Africa in the late 1980's, Mom was the one who swallowed pride and went looking for food with cap in hand, and we survived for several months on regular deliveries of food donations from our local Catholic church.

The list of influential women extends beyond to include teachers, inspirational friends, clergy, colleagues, nuns, cleaners, pioneers, and more.

The most inspirational teachers in my life were women; from Miss Kelleher who instilled a desire to work meticulously (albeit slowly) on my studies, to Miss Fleming & Miss Von Zeuner who showed me at the age of 12 how to begin to think independently when it came to politics (I was schooled during the apartheid era, which I knew was desperately wrong, but was not aware at the time that you could voice that you disagreed with the government, or that enough voices could change a country. These two teachers took a great risk by encouraging discussions in their classes that would not have been allowed by the school, and encouraged us to find our own voices);
The first person I came out to was a female friend - who helped me see that it wasn't a big deal - I was still the same person.
When my training incumbent subjected me to public humiliation when he discovered I was gay, and began a systematic breakdown of my career, including kicking me out of the parish, making me pay off a 3-yr car loan in 3 weeks, spreading rumours about me around the parish, pinning notices about me to public noticeboards, having me followed around town on days off and in the evenings, and more, it was a female friend who came to my rescue and paid for me to fly to her and stay with her, and who helped me see that my calling was a calling to serve God, not necessarily with a dog collar.
I have learned a lot about ministry from the women in my profession, who have been excluded from playing the institutional game, which made them easier to confide in and befriend. That's not to say that I haven't learn from men in ministry, particularly those who were around during my training years.  However, as people who have also often been sidelined by the official institution, the female ministers I've known have been both colleagues and confidantes, and I'm grateful for them.

This list is a starting point, there are so many more, from church cleaners who taught me about integrity & friendship that crosses income barriers, to parishioners who showed me different models of family & how to raise children (who knows, a skill I may yet need), to those who were, and still are, pioneers in male-dominated workplaces.

I should mention that I've long had a real respect and admiration for African women, those I met, and those I didn't, who - during the dreaded apartheid years, left their own families to be the nanny, cleaner, cook & household manager for white families, in order to provide for their own families. I'm astounded and humbled that they would do that, and often raise someone else's children without prejudice or agenda.

So, happy Women's Day, and I hope to live to see the day when we no longer need a Women's Day, or Pride festivals.

Russia's ruthless victimisation of it's LGBT community

Watching Hunted on Channel 4 Dispatches tonight was truly chilling.

Using Russia's anti-gay law (allegedly only aimed at silencing gay propaganda), gay people are being hunted openly like prey, being kicked, beaten, humiliated, raped with sticks & bottles, made to drink urine, shot at and killed.

Russia doesn't have a law that covers hate crimes ... We were shown a man that was filmed shooting a gay man in the face was let off with a suspended sentence for hooliganism.  Another man went to court for attacking a gay man with a stick, with clear photographic evidence provided ... his case has been postponed for 18 months and he walked free.  His victim was taunted and humiliated outside the courtroom.  When it gets to 24 months the case will be chucked out.  A group of guys hung around outside an LGBT film festival, taunting women entering the building, offering them corrective rape, and "gift" bags containing rope, soap and a card instructing them to kill themselves and cleanse the world of their "filth".

Russia is lawless, without mercy, without any decent human rights & without a conscience, and sending any athletes or tourists to such a place is irresponsible.

What's more chilling than Russia's cruel & inhumane treatment of it's LGBT community, is how many countries & big corporations choose to stay silent. Coca Cola and McDonalds, as sponsors for the Sochi Winter Olympics, have remained consistently silent on Russia's appalling treatment of it's LGBT community, ignoring pleas to speak out.  In addition, both have had very embarrassing PR battles where they've missed opportunities to respond to a lot of negative publicity (or - in Coca Cola's case - one publicity stunt even fed homophobia ... and rather than correct the error, they took the site down, and made some thin statement about standing for equality.  However, these statements are empty unless they actually STAND for equality.

Thankfully, some companies are now beginning to speak out ... among them AT&T (article here) & a neat little publicity stunt by Brewdog Brewery in Scotland (article here). In addition, major US investors are now adding their voice to the throng calling for large corporations to hold Russia accountable, rather than pour money into a country which is hunting & victimising the LGBT community (article here).

If you want to view the programme, here's a link to the video.  If that link doesn't work, it may be that you need to go to the Channel 4 Dispatches website (here) and search for "Hunted".

The value of Straight Allies ...

I was recently asked to comment on a piece of writing about reforming the Church's views on the LGBT community, and replied as follows.  I thought I'd offer it on here as an encouragement to stay involved.

As a gay person in the Church, I find that it becomes so tiring fighting for the right to simply be, that it often becomes fairly impossible to engage in any useful way in theological discussions about the matter.

People forget (or, if I'm being generous, don't know), that this is an issue of human identity; that sexual identity issues are at the very core of who you are, not a simple matter of "keep it in your trousers".  It's about who you love, how you interpret your place in society, your gifts and talents, what influences your interests and decision-making, and how you express yourself, and so much more ... that to be reduced to a mere extension of your genitals is dehumanising, devaluing, and robs you of the opportunity to engage as an equal partner in discussions about your place in society.

So, to be caught on the back foot all the time, defending your right to participate in the discussion, is exhausting, and can leave you too exhausted to play any useful part.  For this reason, the value of allies of the LGBT (and Q and I) community cannot be overstated, and we desperately need more.

You don't have to be Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transsexual, Queer, Questioning, Intersex or indeed even Asexual to be engaging in the discussions about bringing change and equality in our communities and institutions.  Thank you to all the straight allies that are engaged ... please keep it up.  We need your voice.

Image from this page.

Resources:
Here's a link to download the Stonewall guide about Straight Allies.
A link to download the PFLAG guide about Straight Allies.
The Wikipedia article about Straight Allies

My thoughts on cases involving Christian B&B owners ...

I often get asked for my opinion on the legal cases involving Christian business owners & equality legislation. I think it's a sort of spiritual litmus test that the askers (sometimes students, sometimes strangers, sometimes Christian, sometimes not) use to gauge my theological views, without directly asking me if I'm gay, or pro-gay.

There has been much publicity around the case of Peter & Hazelmary Bull, the Christian B&B owners who turned away Steven Preddy and Martyn Hall, a gay couple who are in a Civil Partnership, because they didn't allow unmarried couples to share a room (for eg., here are links in the Huffington Post & the Pink News). There was also a lot of publicity around the case of Susanne Wilkinson, a B&B owner in Berkshire who turned away, Michael Black and John Morgan, a gay couple on the basis of their sexuality.

Susanne Wilkinson's case happened about a year before the Bulls', so I'll focus more on the Bulls, as their case is more recent. The Bulls argued that they turned Steven & Martyn away because they have a policy of not allowing unmarried couples to share a room in their B&B, and Steven & Martyn weren't married, therefore were turned away.  The problem with that is that that in itself is illegal ... you can't turn away unmarried couples if you run a B&B, but even more so, because Steven & Martyn were as married as they could legally be at the time as a gay couple. They were a legally committed couple, in a monogamous relationship, and yet were still turned away.  This suggests that they were turned away for being gay, which is also illegal.

The case presents an interesting dilemma for Conservative Evangelical Christians who argued that there was no need for Equal Marriage, because Civil Partnerships offered the same privileges and protections as marriage.  If that was true (Which it isn't! This video explains the differences!), then Peter & Hazelmary Bull should've permitted Steven & Martyn to stay in the room they'd booked, as they were in a committed Civil Partnership, which Conservative Evangelicals argued was the legal equivalent of marriage. The fact that Peter & Hazelmary Bull made a distinction between Civil Partnerships & Marriage shows exactly why the right of Marriage had to be extended to all, regardless of gender preference or gender identity, to prevent committed gay couples from treated as second class citizens.

As a result of the legal findings, there has been an outcry from Conservative Christian groups in defence of the Bulls, stating that they should be allowed to choose who stays in 'their home', without having their faith attacked.

The problem is this ... a B&B is NOT your home. It's a hospitality business, and - as such - has to adhere to equality legislation which protects the public against discrimination. It was also not the Bulls' faith which was under attack, but their decision to use their faith to discriminate against someone for being who they are.  The Bulls (& any other person of faith who runs a business - hospitality or otherwise) can believe whatever they want. Their beliefs can influence their own lives, and even guide their moral code, but they absolutely cannot use that turn away people, just on the basis of who they are, whether that be gay, bi, trans, White, Black, Asian, British, foreign, Muslim, Sikh, or anything else that may not fit with their belief system.

If the Bulls are legally allowed to turn away gay couples from their B&B, it opens the doors for business owners everywhere to use their faith to deny services or products to innocent people.  That means that we could end up with conservative people of various faiths refusing to serve people of another faith, gender or race group on the basis of their faith, using historic scriptures about gender laws, dress codes, faith battles, unclean people, chosen races, mixing with unbelievers, etc., etc.. Why stop there? If we allow believers to exclude customers who don't fit their belief system, why shouldn't we allow business owners from conservative political groups to refuse to sell to foreigners or non-whites, because they sincerely believe these groups are not good for their country (even if it is mistaken, misinformed and bigoted, it could be a belief as firm as any faith)?

The answer is, of course, 'no' ... Peter & Hazelmary Bull and Susanne Wilkinson and their contemporaries have to adhere to the law and offer the same services and products to all members of the public, regardless of faith, gender, gender orientation, relationship status, age, race, language, etc., etc..

If the Bulls & Mrs Wilkinson and any other Christian B&B owners want to be able to use their faith to turn people away, then the only way I can think that they may be able to do that, is to re-brand their business as a retreat house serving only Christians (They would have to limit themselves even more to only serving Conservative, Evangelical Christians, at that, because there are plenty of Christian business owners who believe in inclusion & equality). If they do that, then they cannot advertise themselves as a B&B.  If they do advertise themselves as a B&B, then that B&B is not your personal family home. You may happen to live on the premises, but the only bit that is actually your home is the private apartment bit you live in, separated from the public bedrooms ... The rest is a place of business.

I'm sure the Bulls are a lovely couple, who are acting with the best of intentions, but their actions are being informed by a Conservative Evangelical Christian agenda that is often more concerned about power and political control than about faith, often spending big money influencing & lobbying politicians in the USA, UK & abroad, in an attempt to control policy makers.  Hundreds of thousands are spent lobbying and fighting equality, often using fear-mongering to gather support (for eg. watch this Human Rights Commission video about the US group National Organization for Marriage, or this film exploring the relationship between American Conservative Christians & Africa)

In their own words, the UK's Christian Institute has paid the legal fees for Mrs Wilkinson & the Bulls ("Mrs Wilkinson’s legal defence was paid for by The Christian Institute, a national charity that protects the civil liberty of Christians," & "The Bulls’ appeal to the UK Supreme Court, to be heard next month, is supported by The Christian Institute’s legal defence fund."). Wouldn't it be a much better use of time and money, if the same resources were spent fighting to protect the lives & freedom of LGBT people in places like Russia, Uganda or Nigeria, or do they not deserve life because they identify as LGBT?

In my opinion, I don't think this is solely about religious freedom; It's couched in arguments about religious freedom, but this is more likely about powerful lobbying organisations fighting to gain and/or retain money, influence and power.  It's sad to see how much hatred the conservative evangelical camp has towards the LGBT community.  They may say they 'love the sinner, hate the sin', but that's misguided & impossible ... gay people are not straight people with an addiction to same-sex intimacy, they are people only capable of same-sex intimacy ... it's how they were born. To deny them any intimacy with someone of the same sex is to deny them the hope of companionship, a relationship and a family. To expect them to conform to that kind of miserable, lonely existence, in order to be a part of your worshipping community is not acceptance, it's a sentence.  It's also a double standard ... they expect chastity from the LGBT community, but will put up with sexual & marriage indiscretion and infidelity from straight members of their communities.

I wish the Bulls & the Wilkinsons all the best, but their future should not involve Bed & Breakfasts, unless they offer hospitality to all.  They should consider seeking some other form of income, or open retreat houses (of which there are already plenty).  As business owners, they should absolutely be held professionally and legally accountable for their discrimination.

However, they should not victimised or become victims of hate crimes, but they should also not be the pawns of large lobbying groups, seeking to use their lives to gather publicity and gain control.

Casual racism is not ok

An article in the Portsmouth News reported that a Portsmouth University student had been caught up in the attacks in Westgate mall in Kenya. The report speaks of a terrified 18-year old girl, working with a group of innocent children on the roof of the shopping centre - found herself and the children she was working with in the middle of a horrible terrorist attack, and who lost friends in the attack and feared for her life, and - despite all of this - will still be arriving shortly in the UK to begin her degree.

One reader felt that, rather than reacting with compassion and concern, this presented them with the opportunity to comment & question the woman's right to study in the UK, and the nationality of others who were caught up in the attack. Some people's cold desire to tread on others in an attempt to secure privilege for themselves over those they deem less deserving is horrifying.

Below is their comment, followed by my reply ...

RavyDavy

8:39 AM on 27/09/2013

A Portsmouth student who isn't even here yet, how does that work?Amazing how many 'BRITS' were caught up in this attack........none of them actually British I can wager.......

roosterza

9:21 AM on 27/09/2013

As you may not understand how the process works for foreign students, I'll explain ... you apply to the university, and if you get accepted, you pay your deposit and are then a student of that university.

As for your second comment, I'm not even sure where to start. Kenya used to be a British colony, which means that there are undoubtedly strong links with Britain, with Brits moving there, starting businesses and raising families. No doubt families ended up with family members in both countries.

Some of those undoubtedly retained their citizenship, and rightly so, and several - no doubt - have family members and friends that regularly visit from the UK. So, it's no surprise that there are bound to be large numbers of UK citizens both living there and visiting.

That's kinda how the process of global business, travel & resettlement works. You don't always have to lose your citizenship when you settle in a new country, and your children can often have both nationalities.

I often wonder how people would feel if all those Brits living abroad in places like Europe & the Med. were treated in the same way that people treat foreigners that move or visit here? You can't have it both ways ... want access to other countries, but have your border flow only going in one direction.

No Room for Hatred in My Faith, by Revd. Andy | NOH8 Campaign

Am very pleased to have my submission to the Be Heard section of the NOH8 Campaign's website featured.

My journey as a gay Christian, and an ordained Anglican Priest, has been an interesting and - at times - a painful one. It's been a journey of discovering who I am, and who I was created to be. As a gay Christian, it saddens me that I sit in the middle of two communities that are often at war with each other. However, I've gradually learned that I needn't be apologetic for being gay, or for having a faith. It saddens me that there are so many people who use their faith as a justification for their bigotry, and seek to belittle, ostracise or oppress the LGBT community. That's not the expression of faith that I have, and it is for this reason that I posed for the NOH8 Campaign ... there is no room for hatred in my faith, and there shouldn't be room for it in our communities.
-Reverend Andy

No Room for Hatred in My Faith, by Revd. Andy | NOH8 Campaign

In memory of José Julio Sarria ...

My thoughts and prayers are with new San Franciscan friends, and the city of San Francisco, as they gather later today to mourn the passing, and to celebrate the life, of José Julio Sarria (#JoséSarria); WWII Army Veteran, Drag Queen, Gay Activist & First Empress of San Francisco and founder of the International Imperial Court System, a fundraising network that has raised millions for charitable causes through costume-ball fundraisers and remains one of the oldest LGBT organisations in the world.

You may read an obituary here or here.

José's funeral will take place in Grace Cathedral at 11am (Pacific Time).

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Dear God, you who cried when you lost a friend,who wept over Jerusalem,who asked friends to stay with you while you struggled with your life,please stay with us now, holding us in your love.Cover our lives with the fragrant oil of your healing,send your Spirit to comfort us in our grief,and fill our emptiness with new things.Gather our scattered lives into a community of love,where loss can be shared and gifts can be given for the easing of mourning.We pray these prayers in confidence,for you are our restoration and the renewal of our hope.Amen.

- McRae-McMahon, D. 2001. In this Hour. Liturgies for Pausing. London: SPCK

The Drag Circuit & the Imperial Court System ...

One of the things that made a big impression on me during my stay in San Francisco was meeting some of the area's drag queens and seeing how much money they raise for charity and how hard they work in their communities.

I had no idea that there is an Imperial court system in place for American, Mexican & Canadian drag queens, and was extremely impressed at how organised the structure is, and how much of a support the system is to those inside and outside it.  They support a number of charitable organisations and - in addition to their fundraising shows and events, they donate of their own time, talents and possessions to support their communities and those in need.

As I reflected in one of my earlier posts, to illustrate the power of embracing this community and their community ethic, during my stay in San Francisco, I learned of St. Aidan's, an inclusive Episcopalian congregation in San Francisco that welcomes the local drag community into their midst and the drag community is encouraged to fund raise on their premises. The congregation of St. Aidan's has also raised funds for the drag queen's chosen charities. As a result of this mutually beneficial and generous relationship, the drag queens in turn largely funded the parish's food pantry for an entire year.  To me, this is an example of the potential power that true inclusion holds to work for good in our communities.

I was trying to find the right words to explain a little bit more about the Imperial Court system, but decided that, rather than offer misleading information, it would be best summarised by simply quoting a leaflet I was handed at the coronation ceremony for the Alameda Ducal Court I had the privilege of attending before I left San Francisco:

About Latinos and the Imperial Courts

The International Imperial Court System of the United States, Canada and Mexico was established in 1965 by a Latino, Jose Julio Sarria.  There are Imperial Court chapters in over 68 cities within the United States, Canada and Mexico.  Jose, who is now 91 years old and retired, appointed Nicole M. Ramirez, a well-known gay Latino activist, as his successor in 2007. 

The Imperial Courts welcome everyone as members; gays, lesbians, transgender, bisexuals, heterosexuals, friends and family.  The Imperial Courts membership is based on a Royal Court, with Dukes, Duchesses, Prince, Princess, etc., and is headed by an elected Emperor and Empress.  Imperial Court memberships are all volunteer ... no one gets paid.  The Imperial Courts hold events in the LGBT Communities and raise funds for charities and many causes, including children's charity concerns and student scholarships.

For more information, visit www.impcourt.org 

Equality in Kansas

I had the opportunity to visit Kansas last week, and jumped at the opportunity ... After all, it'll be at least another ten years before I get another period of extended ministerial development leave, and the opportunity to visit Kansas may not present itself next time.

Why Kansas? Because it's home to two people I've been interacting with online for a while now, regarding equality, equal rights and the church ...

Firstly, Sarah Manley (writer of the Nerdy Apple blog, amongst other claims to fame) and I started chatting online after her blog went viral, and found ourselves exchanging ideas on equality. I love her sense of justice, and her humour and sarcasm, and that she is also a fantastic straight ally for the LGBTQ community. A straight ally is a powerful and lovely thing, and we always need more.

Secondly, Matthew Vines, who I started chatting to and exchanging messages with after his YouTube video about the Bible and homosexuality went viral.  Matthew's video is detailed, precise and a great resource, but is only the beginning.  As someone who has experienced homophobia, and been kicked out of the parish I was serving my curacy in, because the rector had a problem with me being gay, I was grateful to have access to an online tool that I could refer people to, and enjoyed messaging Matthew, and watching the growth of his ministry.

Both Sarah & Matthew have been an encouragement to me, and when the opportunity to take a short trip to Kansas presented itself, I decided it was one I couldn't miss.

It was exciting to meet Sarah and her husband, "The Detective" ;-) , to learn more about the paths we'd walked that helped shape our attitudes to inequality, and to get to know each other better, over copious quantities of affordable, good, BBQ food. We were the last three to leave the restaurant and I left grateful, encouraged (& stuffed).

With Sarah

In order to meet Matthew, I would have to drive right by Topeka, and I had a morbid curiosity about stopping off to look at Westboro Baptist Church (infamous for not having anything positive to say about anything or anyone, and for picketing soldiers' funerals, and praising God for the death of everyone except themselves).  I was intrigued, but also apprehensive ... having had such a positive inclusive time so far, I didn't want expose myself unnecessarily to homophobia (it's all unnecessary, but there's enough homophobia in daily life, politics, society and media, without looking for more).

On Matthew's suggestion, however, I stopped by the Equality House (which is across the road from WBC), & knocked on the door, not really knowing if it was a private home or an office (the answer is, both!).

I was met by, and welcomed in by Amelia and Aaron, and found out more about their ministry, about how they're helping to bring hope and a positive message to an area often shrouded in negativity. I learned that the Equality House is a charity, and very much needs the support of others, in order to continue offering themselves in this way. If you have the means, please do consider supporting them financially. If you don't have the means to give financially, support them with your prayers and by making more people aware of them, or by holding a fundraiser for them.

The Equality House

Interestingly, because I so enjoyed the Equality House and chatting with Amelia and Aaron, I nearly forgot that I wanted a photo of Westboro Baptist church, and quickly snapped one before rushing off. Their ministry turned a stopover in the same street as Westboro Baptist Church into a positive experience.

A sad group of people, centred around an angry, xenophobic old man.

With that done, I continued on to Wichita, and it was great to finally meet up with Matthew in person and discover the mind and person behind his studies and video, and also to learn more about the Reformation project, that has come out of that initial video. The Reformation Project aims to offer intensive training to people, to help them counter homophobia in their communities and congregations.

It was lovely seeing how excited Matthew is by his ministry, and how it energises him. The fight against homophobia and for recognition and equality so often exhausts us, that it's energising to meet someone who themselves is excited by it.  When the Reformation Project outgrows it's Wichita base, it'd be lovely to look at bringing it over to the UK, and I'll continue to watch Matthew's progress with interest.

With Matthew Vines in Wichita

I'm so glad I got the opportunity to meet up with Sarah & the Detective, & Matthew, and to have the opportunity to add to what has already been such a positive experience in San Francisco on this sabbatical.  It's incredible how I've gotten to know most of my contacts for this Sabbatical over the internet, (thank you, Sir Tim Berners-Lee!) and it's been fantastic to get the chance to meet them, and learn so much from such great people.

Inclusive church in the community

Following on from my earlier post about an inclusive church service, in addition to attending a service, I had the pleasure of seeing the inclusive church in action in the community yesterday, as well.

I had been invited by Diana, to go and share in a picnic lunch on a blanket in Dolores Park, San Francisco, which was also an opportunity to offer spiritual advice to the local community.  Because of location, obviously much (if not most) of the local community is made up of members of the LGBT community.  Because it was warm and sunny, the park was full of people making the most of it ... there were people eating and drinking with friends, catching the sun, enjoying ballgames, walking dogs (and even a kitten!), holding hands, and relaxing. It's sad that I feel I need to add that last sentence, in case people think that gays in a park must automatically mean cruising, and it's sad that people who may assume that can't see the bigotry behind that assumption, or fail to recognise that - even if that were the case - that many straight people do it too (reference the Channel 4 documentary on 'Dogging').

Anyway, the group of us that gathered included a Deacon, two monks, a drag queen, a Rector, an Archdeacon, and myself.  We set up blankets, food and a sign advertising that we were offering spiritual advice. Although we didn't get much interest in the spiritual advice that day, we did have a guy come over who shared that the advice he'd received previously had really helped. He was walking by, collecting donations for the AIDS walk in a few weeks, so he was giving back to the community.  We also had a few people come over to say hello to some of our group that they knew, and there was no shame in doing so.

My experience of ministering to the LGBT community back home is that - often - they don't want to be seen to be talking to a person of faith, because of the LGBT community's experiences of faith communities; how they've been vilified and ostracised, or at best - allowed into our churches or groups, and demonised and dehumanised.  So, the two communities often have an inherent distrust of each other, which can make it very difficult to offer any authentic ministry to the LGBT community.

It was lovely to be gathered with such a diverse group in the midst of a very diverse community, and - once again - to be there with a sense of pride at being able to be present in a community without a sense of apology and guilt.  We were there because we genuinely wanted to help and affirm them for their sake, not because we wanted to change them into what we thought they should be, or because we wanted them to join our churches.  This was about them; helping them to make sense of their lives and their key life moments, and offering advice to help them become who they were created to be.

The ministry on the blanket had a sense of validity, through the hard work of the colleagues and friends I was gathered with ... they have spent a long time working in the community, and because of that, were able to be there without any sense of animosity or suspicion, which I think would be the case if a church group suddenly placed themselves in a park in the UK where the LGBT community was gathered to enjoy the sun. Through the way it has treated members of the LGBT community, the Church in the UK (capital 'C'), has largely lost it's credibility with the LGBT community (and it's not hard to see why).

My experience on Sunday was that it was both energising and inspiring to be in the midst of a community that had spent so many years in the margins, not as superiors, but as members of that community, offering ourselves and our ministry to them, and to have them view us without animosity.  We were simply an equal part of the community.

On the blanket in Dolores Park, offering ministry to the community gathered.

On the blanket in Dolores Park

After we left Dolores Park, Tommy, one of clergy invited me to join him in Aunt Charlies Lounge, one of the Drag clubs, to meet some of the Drag Queens he knows, and has ministered to (and with!). These ladies are part of the Grand Ducal Court of San Francisco, and I had the opportunity to chat briefly with a view of them, and met the reigning Grand Duchess, Paloma Volare.

These ladies obviously knew Tommy well, and had respect for him, and it was mutual.  They greeted each other with affection, and I learned of how these ladies worked extremely hard to raise funds for charity.  What was incredible to see was how his church and these ladies worked so well together, for the benefit of the local community.

They had raised most of the funds for his church to run their food pantry for a year, providing food to people in need.  However, he and his congregation had also helped raise funds for their charity concerns, which include AIDS charities, food charities, cancer charities, a community centre, and a nighttime ministry.  The Grand Ducal Court of San Francisco, of which these ladies are a part, raises around $50,000 annually for these charity concerns.  Tommy had helped them with that, and they share a concern for the local community, and are ministering together.  Tommy's church had included them in other ways, by offering ministry to them when they lost a dear friend, and by welcoming them into congregation functions, sometimes in drag, where they were celebrated and allowed to use their gifts.

This is another example of how much further inclusivity should go than merely stating that LGBT people are welcome.  This morning's church service I attended and these examples of inclusive church active in the community are examples of being truly inclusive, where people's diversity is celebrated, and the beauty and the gifts that they bring are encouraged and used for the benefit of the community around them.

Some photos of some of the ladies of the Grand Ducal Council of San Francisco

I'm not for one minute suggesting that there aren't other forms of inclusivity, or that these are the best expressions of an inclusive church at worship and in the community ... after all, it's a big world out there.  I'm speaking from my perspective and experiences, and obviously mentioning my impressions of what I've seen and how it's impacted on me.

What struck me was how much good can be done in the community and for the kingdom, when people are included as they are, affirmed as they are, and encouraged and enabled to use their gifts, without having to feel shame, without feeling that they can't let people see who they really are.

This is a very good example of what the inclusive church looks like in the community.