Transgender Day of Remembrance #TDoR

Today is International Transgender Day of Remembrance.

I've been looking at the news articles about this this morning.  It makes for sombre reading.  One really brought the message home ... here is the headline and link ... "Beaten, stoned and burnt alive: 226 Trans people murdered this year" http://shar.es/1X78hY via @gaystarnews

It's a horrible thing to imagine the loneliness and the desolation of someone who feels they matter so little, that they should remove themselves from the earth.  It's even worse to read about some of the truly barbaric things and ruthless acts of violence and murder that other people commit against Trans members of society.

It shouldn't be that way.

For me, what is even more heartbreaking, is when faith groups abandon these people and perpetuate the message that they aren't valued or worthy.  Faith groups should be going forward with the message that all are valued by God, that all are loved, that all are worthy, that all are God's children. Instead, we have some groups in all faiths that feel that they have the right to sit in the judgement seat, and begin proclaiming who can and can't be a part of their faith and of society.  They always claim to be the only true adherents of their faith, thereby dismissing & claiming superiority over those who try to express the faith in a more inclusive way. The reality is that theirs is one possible expression of faith, not THE expression of faith, and there are other ways, that include and affirm.

I give thanks for those in all faiths who are working hard for the full inclusion of the LGBT community in their faiths (I blogged about some of the Christian groups doing just that in a previous post - here), and I hope, wish & pray that more and more faith communities can truly be places of refuge and hope for ALL people who are disempowered & voiceless ... as they should.

I'm reminded of the lyrics of the Depeche Mode song, "People are people" ... and praying for a change.

Will you join in me in asking whether or not you could be a part of that change?

Depeche Mode - People are people

People are people so why should it be
You and I should get along so awfully
So we're different colours
And we're different creeds
And different people have different needs
It's obvious you hate me
Though I've done nothing wrong
I never even met you
So what could I have done
I can't understand
What makes a man
Hate another man
Help me understand
People are people so why should it be
You and I should get along so awfully
Help me understand
Now you're punching and you're kicking
And you're shouting at me
I'm relying on your common decency
So far it hasn't surfaced
But I'm sure it exists
It just takes a while to travel
From your head to your fist
I can't understand
What makes a man
Hate another man
Help me understand

Songwriters: GORE, MARTIN LEE

The value of Straight Allies ...

I was recently asked to comment on a piece of writing about reforming the Church's views on the LGBT community, and replied as follows.  I thought I'd offer it on here as an encouragement to stay involved.

As a gay person in the Church, I find that it becomes so tiring fighting for the right to simply be, that it often becomes fairly impossible to engage in any useful way in theological discussions about the matter.

People forget (or, if I'm being generous, don't know), that this is an issue of human identity; that sexual identity issues are at the very core of who you are, not a simple matter of "keep it in your trousers".  It's about who you love, how you interpret your place in society, your gifts and talents, what influences your interests and decision-making, and how you express yourself, and so much more ... that to be reduced to a mere extension of your genitals is dehumanising, devaluing, and robs you of the opportunity to engage as an equal partner in discussions about your place in society.

So, to be caught on the back foot all the time, defending your right to participate in the discussion, is exhausting, and can leave you too exhausted to play any useful part.  For this reason, the value of allies of the LGBT (and Q and I) community cannot be overstated, and we desperately need more.

You don't have to be Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transsexual, Queer, Questioning, Intersex or indeed even Asexual to be engaging in the discussions about bringing change and equality in our communities and institutions.  Thank you to all the straight allies that are engaged ... please keep it up.  We need your voice.

Image from this page.

Resources:
Here's a link to download the Stonewall guide about Straight Allies.
A link to download the PFLAG guide about Straight Allies.
The Wikipedia article about Straight Allies

Full-colour Pride

I'm trying to reflect on my first day at Pride, and finding it quite difficult.  I was quite emotional this morning, while walking around the Civic Centre in San Francisco, and I'm not sure why.  It's not like I haven't faced all of my own demons, and come to terms with who I am. I am comfortable in my sexuality, my faith, and my identity.

Still ... it was that positive an experience, being surrounded by literally every outfit, shape, colour, size, height, gender, sexual orientation or gender expression, where everyone was comfortable, interacting positively and affirming of each other ... that I found myself close to tears a few times.  The rest of the time, I was wandering around with a grin on my face.

I saw Trans people, drag kings and queens, people wearing nothing, some guy wearing a single gold sock (not on his feet), goths, families with kids (dressed in rainbow colours), people in tutus, people with body painting, people wearing masks, people holding hands, dancing together, commercial sponsors affirming their customer base (no doubt for financial impact, but still positive and more than many commercial enterprises do), religious groups interacting in a positive and affirming way, and equal rights campaigners.

I'm guessing that some of my more conservative Christian counterparts may struggle to be exposed to someone wearing a gold sock, or even see the naturism stall, but none of it came across as sordid.  It wasn't about sex ... it was about variety, about expression, about identity and about acceptance.

Again, it seems to be highlighting to me how important it is that we not try to force people to separate their personal identity from their working or worshipping lives.  That fragments people and causes wounding and stress.  When we allow them to be whole in every sphere, they flourish, and as a result - our communities and our faith communities can flourish, too.

I reflected with Paul, an Episcopalian priest, the other day, that for many years of my life, I approached prayer and my relationship with God as an imperfect straight man with something to be ashamed of and to hide.  When I decided to change that, and approach God as a gay man, thankful for the gift of my sexuality, and learned to relate to God as a gay man, it was a profound moment of watershed in my life, and a real marker in my own healing process.

If we allow people to come to worship as themselves ... with their partners, their whole lives, then they can truly be who they were created to be!

And I haven't even moved on to the afternoon in Mission Dolores Park yet ...

The gathering at Mission Dolores was a warm-up for the San Francisco Dyke March towards the Castro.  It ran all day, with the march beginning around 6pm.  I got there at around 3.30pm and the first thing that struck me at Mission Dolores, was the large number of people ... I think estimating in excess of 30,000 would not be far off the mark (although my counting ability is impeded by a lack of attention span ... 1,2,3,4,5,10 ... lots!).

Again, there were people of every shape, colour, size, gender, gender identity, gender preference, sexual orientation, culture and race.  They came on foot, on crutches, in wheelchairs, on mobility scooters, skateboards, stilts, inline skates (and electric bicycles!). The noise was incredible, but everybody was happy.  People were picnicking, catching up with friends, sitting with families, making new friends, buying food, dancing, raising awareness of campaigns & community groups.  It was called a Dyke march, but it was equally well supported by gay and straight men, straight women and trans men & women.  Again, people were wearing (or not wearing) all sorts, but the focus seemed to be on celebrating being together as a community.

The celebrations seemed heavily influenced by the recent ruling on Equal Marriage in California, and people were happy to gather together and rejoice that they had a future.  That's almost too heavy a concept to type quickly ... how different the atmosphere would've been if the ruling had been different.

Again, I was struck by the sense of joy, affirmation and community. It seemed that even the homeless were enjoying the event.

I waited to see the beginning of the march, and then - having spent the day surrounded by SEVERAL thousand people - needed to retreat to a coffee shop for some quiet time to reflect.  I keep coming back to that thought that it is so very important to allow people to bring their whole selves to every part of their lives, so that they can experience every part as a whole, and give themselves as a whole to every part, and be WHOLLY human.  It is deeply wrong for any faith community to adopt the attitude where they force people to leave their private lives behind closed doors, and attend services quietly, without people knowing who they really are, lest it offends a few.  So very deeply wrong.

Here's a few pics from today ...

He was giving away free hugs.

People as far as the eye can see

Drumming group leading the parade onto the streets

The start of the parade towards the Castro