San Fran, a city on the edge ...

Before arriving in San Francisco, I was a bit concerned that living here for a month would leave me a little bit like a fish out of water, as it's very different to visiting a place, to immerse yourself in the culture.  But I've had a lovely time, and all being told, it seems to be a city that's used to embracing strangers.

I suppose the city has a history of embracing people who had fled as far away from government authority as they could, and San Fran is as far West as they could get, without actually donning some swimming trunks.  The city has a history of picking people up, welcoming them, and including them.

Most people here are friendly, which is interesting to a cynic like me. I was originally worried that I would find people's enthusiasm and friendliness a bit much, and didn't want to be a killjoy, but that hasn't been the case, either.  It's felt perfectly natural to be responding to people's friendliness and warmth with the same.

The city's attitude to inclusion is astounding, and you can see elements of it everywhere ... in the 'LGBT Safe Zone' poster in the Mission SFPD station window, to the 'End the hate' posters in people's windows, the rainbow flags displayed in all sorts of public establishments, big brand stores and private residences, and the "Equality for all" messages displayed on the LED screens on the outside of Muni buses.  It seems to be a city that acknowledges all citizens as equals, with rights and as part of the community.

It seems even the resident's attitude to the homeless is friendly, and reciprocal. Time and again, when I've not had any change to give to a homeless person, this is met by a courteous, "Thank you, and God bless you."  The only aggression I've seen so far is in arguments between homeless people on the street, which have appeared to be alcohol-fuelled (or some other substance).

I know there is a hard edge to the city ... the degree of homelessness, the drug culture and the strong odour in certain parts gives testimony to that.  But, there's a hard edge to just about every city.  But it feels like what San Fran is doing right, is it's regard for all it's citizens, even those who would fall through the cracks, and in many cases, have already fallen through the cracks.  The challenge in what I have seen is that being friendly and welcoming, although so much better than in other cities, still leaves room for improvement.  True inclusion should extend to affirming the humanity in each person, and in giving them the opportunities for self-improvement, so that they can regain and retain a sense of pride in themselves.  This may be very well be happening, and I wouldn't want to offend anyone by suggesting that it isn't ... it's merely an observation.  I wouldn't want it to detract from the fact that I've been blown away by the level of inclusion in this city that is on the edge in more ways than one ... On the edge of the USA, on the edge of social thinking, on the edge of current policy, on the edge of both poverty and wealth, and more.

I've already made mention here of how the Church here has blown me away in terms of how active they are in seeking inclusion, and can certainly give churches in the UK a run for their money. In particular, my observations refer to the Episcopalian Church, and I've seen how they don't just operate an open-doors policy here, but they actively go out to recruit from minority groups, and then include and affirm them. The local Bishop has also been quite instrumental in fighting to get the government to repeal DOMA and to bring back Equal Marriage.  So, it was quite something to march in Pride with a group of Episcopalians who could genuinely show Pride in their ministry, themselves, and their LGBT brothers & sisters.  In my visit so far, I've visited Grace Cathedral (which there's more about in previous posts ... here, and - in particular, my impressions about their current art installation - here) and St. Gregory of Nyssa, both a vibrant ministry to the whole community, including the homeless, the LGBT community, and others (St Gregory's even hosts a weekly food pantry, which offers fresh produce and groceries to over 1,000 families). Grace Cathedral have released a public statement, rejoicing in the decision to allow Equal Marriage in California, and inviting couples to book their same-sex marriages in the Cathedral.  These are good examples of how church should defend the minorities, support equality, be a voice for the voiceless, and affirm the humanity of all!

I should add that there have been other churches ... The Sierra Pacific Synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America shared in our Eucharist at Pride and have a very important ministry around issues of social justice & minority groups. There was even a group of Catholic worshippers, marching in support of Equal Marriage (although, sadly, by all accounts, this does not extend to their senior clergy or diocese, which seems to be quite active in opposing equal marriage ... here and here ).  However, it seems the call for Marriage Equality amongst Catholic worshippers is growing, and hopefully their leadership heed it sooner or later!)

I hope to attend worship at St Gregory's this Sunday, and may even stop by afterwards at a Bring & Share picnic in Dolores Park.  I've even spotted that there's an open photo shoot for the NOH8 campaign next weekend, which I'll go to and try and join in!

That's about as much as I can manage in terms of an update today.  San Francisco is turning out to be quite an exciting city to get to grips with ministry and inclusivity ... what felt like a long month in the city is rapidly turning out to be a rather short space of time to fit everything in.  I'll just have to visit regularly. ;)

Full-colour Pride

I'm trying to reflect on my first day at Pride, and finding it quite difficult.  I was quite emotional this morning, while walking around the Civic Centre in San Francisco, and I'm not sure why.  It's not like I haven't faced all of my own demons, and come to terms with who I am. I am comfortable in my sexuality, my faith, and my identity.

Still ... it was that positive an experience, being surrounded by literally every outfit, shape, colour, size, height, gender, sexual orientation or gender expression, where everyone was comfortable, interacting positively and affirming of each other ... that I found myself close to tears a few times.  The rest of the time, I was wandering around with a grin on my face.

I saw Trans people, drag kings and queens, people wearing nothing, some guy wearing a single gold sock (not on his feet), goths, families with kids (dressed in rainbow colours), people in tutus, people with body painting, people wearing masks, people holding hands, dancing together, commercial sponsors affirming their customer base (no doubt for financial impact, but still positive and more than many commercial enterprises do), religious groups interacting in a positive and affirming way, and equal rights campaigners.

I'm guessing that some of my more conservative Christian counterparts may struggle to be exposed to someone wearing a gold sock, or even see the naturism stall, but none of it came across as sordid.  It wasn't about sex ... it was about variety, about expression, about identity and about acceptance.

Again, it seems to be highlighting to me how important it is that we not try to force people to separate their personal identity from their working or worshipping lives.  That fragments people and causes wounding and stress.  When we allow them to be whole in every sphere, they flourish, and as a result - our communities and our faith communities can flourish, too.

I reflected with Paul, an Episcopalian priest, the other day, that for many years of my life, I approached prayer and my relationship with God as an imperfect straight man with something to be ashamed of and to hide.  When I decided to change that, and approach God as a gay man, thankful for the gift of my sexuality, and learned to relate to God as a gay man, it was a profound moment of watershed in my life, and a real marker in my own healing process.

If we allow people to come to worship as themselves ... with their partners, their whole lives, then they can truly be who they were created to be!

And I haven't even moved on to the afternoon in Mission Dolores Park yet ...

The gathering at Mission Dolores was a warm-up for the San Francisco Dyke March towards the Castro.  It ran all day, with the march beginning around 6pm.  I got there at around 3.30pm and the first thing that struck me at Mission Dolores, was the large number of people ... I think estimating in excess of 30,000 would not be far off the mark (although my counting ability is impeded by a lack of attention span ... 1,2,3,4,5,10 ... lots!).

Again, there were people of every shape, colour, size, gender, gender identity, gender preference, sexual orientation, culture and race.  They came on foot, on crutches, in wheelchairs, on mobility scooters, skateboards, stilts, inline skates (and electric bicycles!). The noise was incredible, but everybody was happy.  People were picnicking, catching up with friends, sitting with families, making new friends, buying food, dancing, raising awareness of campaigns & community groups.  It was called a Dyke march, but it was equally well supported by gay and straight men, straight women and trans men & women.  Again, people were wearing (or not wearing) all sorts, but the focus seemed to be on celebrating being together as a community.

The celebrations seemed heavily influenced by the recent ruling on Equal Marriage in California, and people were happy to gather together and rejoice that they had a future.  That's almost too heavy a concept to type quickly ... how different the atmosphere would've been if the ruling had been different.

Again, I was struck by the sense of joy, affirmation and community. It seemed that even the homeless were enjoying the event.

I waited to see the beginning of the march, and then - having spent the day surrounded by SEVERAL thousand people - needed to retreat to a coffee shop for some quiet time to reflect.  I keep coming back to that thought that it is so very important to allow people to bring their whole selves to every part of their lives, so that they can experience every part as a whole, and give themselves as a whole to every part, and be WHOLLY human.  It is deeply wrong for any faith community to adopt the attitude where they force people to leave their private lives behind closed doors, and attend services quietly, without people knowing who they really are, lest it offends a few.  So very deeply wrong.

Here's a few pics from today ...

He was giving away free hugs.

People as far as the eye can see

Drumming group leading the parade onto the streets

The start of the parade towards the Castro

Let the Sabbatical begin!!!!

At the close of today's working day, I officially start my Sabbatical, or Extended Ministerial Development Leave, as it's now called.  As clergy, this is something we get every 10 years since ordination (more or less, depending on Diocese).  As my ordination to the Diaconate was in 1999 and to the Priesthood was in 2000, I'm a few years late.

We get the opportunity to take 3 months or so (again, it could differ from Diocese to Diocese), to look at study activities or life and faith experiences that will feed our ministry or our lives for the next ten years.

For some of my Sabbatical, I'll be enjoying spending time at home with my hubby, Mike, but I'll also be spending a large chunk of time in San Francisco in the USA, where I'm hoping to link up with various LGBT community and church groups, to look at good examples of inclusive ministry, in both the secular and religious communities.  I've already made a contact with a few people in local churches there, and also in Grace Cathedral.  I may look at attending services at one of theses, and also at observing some of their groups/meetings/people.

I'm also excited to have made initial contact with the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.  Their story interests me, because what most people see is a group of cross-dressing men, in nuns habits, on in-line skates, but I think it's much deeper than that.  They sit between two communities who often don't see eye-to-eye, i.e. the LGBT community and the religious community, and they've adopted the language and uniform of one, to do charitable works in the other.  I hope I do get to meet them, and I'm looking forward to finding out what their experiences of both communities have been, and where their story started, and whether any lessons can be learned from them. In addition to all that, I think they'll bring some much-needed humour to my Sabbatical time.

I hope to be blogging / tweeting / photographing while I'm away, so do please follow, comment, feed back.  If there are any people in the San Fran area that want to link up, I look forward to hearing from you.

At the end of my time in the USA, I'll be returning home, a weird mix of exhausted & exhilirated, and hope to have many tales to tell. :)

To close ... here's a pic of me on my ordination day.

My ordination at St Stephen's, New Brighton, in the Diocese of Port Elizabeth - 30 September 2000.