Antitheism is not the answer

As a gay Christian, you can often feel that you have your feet in two different camps that are often at war with each other.  For many gay Christians, the Christians in our past don't accept us after we share about who we truly are. Their thinking is often that this is a lifestyle "choice" that we have made, and have turned away from godly living (if that is their theology, they don't recognise that that is the human condition, and so we're all in the same boat).  So we may find ourselves without a faith community behind us, as we struggle to find a way forward in our faith.

On the other side of the fence is the LGBT community that welcomes us, but often struggles to accept our faith, because they have been exposed to cruel judgement and ostracism by many in the Church or - worse yet - subjected to attempts to "pray the gay away" or been coerced into "gay conversion therapy" or even being convinced to enter into a relationship with someone from the opposite sex in an attempt to "bring out the straight in you."  In my case, it was all three, which made for a rather dismal chapter of my life, where death became the only hope of release, and fear of hell became the only reason I chose not to end life at my own hands.  If they don't encounter such malevolent behaviour, they're often only too aware of the very negative messages in the press by outspoken anti-gay Christian lobbying groups or church groups.  It's easy to understand why many members of the LGBT community don't have a faith, and don't want one.  But that is often not the gay Christian's understanding of faith for them.  For many, despite the judgements, it will be what has kept them going.

So, you can see that if you happen to both be gay and have a faith, it's not a particularly easy place to be in. However, for many, as much as being gay is part of our identity, so is having a faith, and we're often presented with having to choose one of two options ... either we abandon our faith, or we try and find a way to exist with one foot in each camp.  Some may choose to leave their faith communities (sadly, sometimes they're forced out).  Some will join new faith communities that are inclusive, but many retain some connection with faith and struggle to find a way forward. (How good it would be if churches were able to look past the fear and the judging and the dogma, to see this need for nurturing.  Welcome these people back as they are, and - IF there is changing to be done - let God do it.  You may not be comfortable with them, or their partner, or their social lives, but they're God's children, as much as anyone else, and they often have no spiritual home to turn to.)

I have many friends who are not Christian, but respect my choice to be a Christian (for - at the end of the day - that is the choice ... my sexual identity is not). I also have some friends that don't respect my faith, and that can sometimes be difficult. I respect someone else's choice to not follow a faith, and I respect that they have every right to be atheist, but it can hurt to hear friends speaking against all people of faith, and blaming all believers for the Church's attitude to the LGBT community.

Some people portray all religion as irrelevant, harmful, and don't think it has anything good to say.  In many cases that may be true.  But, there are as many different ways of believing as there are people ... each person has a different experience of faith and a different way of expressing that.  Many people of faith are working hard to bring change from within, and make our communities of faith more inclusive places.

The danger of painting all people of faith with the same brush, and by declaring faith irrelevant is that by doing so, you silence the voices of those within that institution or faith who are fighting for equality and inclusion.  The only way to effectively bring change is to continue engaging with people, affirm positive change where you see it, inform viewpoints where you can, and support those members of the LGBT community who are struggling to maintain relationships on both sides of the fence.

Transgender Day of Remembrance #TDoR

Today is International Transgender Day of Remembrance.

I've been looking at the news articles about this this morning.  It makes for sombre reading.  One really brought the message home ... here is the headline and link ... "Beaten, stoned and burnt alive: 226 Trans people murdered this year" http://shar.es/1X78hY via @gaystarnews

It's a horrible thing to imagine the loneliness and the desolation of someone who feels they matter so little, that they should remove themselves from the earth.  It's even worse to read about some of the truly barbaric things and ruthless acts of violence and murder that other people commit against Trans members of society.

It shouldn't be that way.

For me, what is even more heartbreaking, is when faith groups abandon these people and perpetuate the message that they aren't valued or worthy.  Faith groups should be going forward with the message that all are valued by God, that all are loved, that all are worthy, that all are God's children. Instead, we have some groups in all faiths that feel that they have the right to sit in the judgement seat, and begin proclaiming who can and can't be a part of their faith and of society.  They always claim to be the only true adherents of their faith, thereby dismissing & claiming superiority over those who try to express the faith in a more inclusive way. The reality is that theirs is one possible expression of faith, not THE expression of faith, and there are other ways, that include and affirm.

I give thanks for those in all faiths who are working hard for the full inclusion of the LGBT community in their faiths (I blogged about some of the Christian groups doing just that in a previous post - here), and I hope, wish & pray that more and more faith communities can truly be places of refuge and hope for ALL people who are disempowered & voiceless ... as they should.

I'm reminded of the lyrics of the Depeche Mode song, "People are people" ... and praying for a change.

Will you join in me in asking whether or not you could be a part of that change?

Depeche Mode - People are people

People are people so why should it be
You and I should get along so awfully
So we're different colours
And we're different creeds
And different people have different needs
It's obvious you hate me
Though I've done nothing wrong
I never even met you
So what could I have done
I can't understand
What makes a man
Hate another man
Help me understand
People are people so why should it be
You and I should get along so awfully
Help me understand
Now you're punching and you're kicking
And you're shouting at me
I'm relying on your common decency
So far it hasn't surfaced
But I'm sure it exists
It just takes a while to travel
From your head to your fist
I can't understand
What makes a man
Hate another man
Help me understand

Songwriters: GORE, MARTIN LEE

Reflections on #DollyParton & #LondonPride weekend ...

It's been a few weeks now since London Pride weekend. I really should have reflected on the whole experience a lot more quickly, but time and emotions ran away with me, and here we are.

The weekend started for us, with two tickets to see Dolly Parton's Blue Smoke Tour at the O2. Dolly always amazes me with how down-to-earth she comes across, and how musically talented she is.  She didn't disappoint. She filled the O2, started the show on time - with no support act - and performed solidly, taking only a 20 minute break during the interval, she played several musical instruments, and interjected with stories from her life that were open, honest and endeared herself to her audience.

One of the things that always amazes me about Dolly Parton is that she quite openly and proudly speaks of her faith in God, but does so in a way that shares the unconditional love of God with her audience, and the audience respond well.  She told at least 12,000 of her faith in God, and how much God loves her & them, & they listened and responded positively.

I recognise I may be a bit biased when it comes to Dolly Parton, but I am in awe every time we see her live, at her talent, her warm faith and her authenticity.

Dolly comes across as real, as genuine, but more importantly for me, as inclusive. She is inclusive of all people, irrespective of gender, sexual orientation, race, colour or creed. The LGBT community love her and the faith community loves her & she loves them.

So when she says that she loves God, and that God loves us all so much ... people respond with warmth.  Those that don't have a faith listen patiently, while those who do are encouraged, and all are affirmed.

I was quite emotional by the end of the show, because I was both massively affirmed by hearing faith expressed in such an affirming and inclusive way, but also because I was saddened that much of the leadership of the Church couldn't manage to express faith like that, preferring instead to push people to the outside.
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On the Saturday, we made our way into Central London for Pride, where Mike joined me in marching with the Christians at Pride group - a collaboration between the various LGBTQII+ Christian charity & campaign groups.  The group was made up of people from LGCM, Diverse Church, Metropolitan Community Church, Two:23, Accepting Evangelicals, Changing Attitude, Quest and Inclusive Church.

With the vile homophobia coming out of some parts of the Church at the moment, and the very real threat of discipline faced by those clergy in same-sex relationships who marry their life partners, we felt it particularly important this year to be a part of an LGBTQII affirming faith voice.

We were joined by a 14ft Jesus with a rainbow sash, who worked the crowd like a pro, and we marched along to the Sister Act soundtrack, some of us handing out leaflets apologising for the pain that the Church had caused, others with leaflets with an LGBTQII-affirming message of faith or details of some of the LGBTQII-affirming faith organisations.

I was amazed at how appreciative the crowd was at finally hearing something positive from people of faith. Some people even wept openly at hearing an inclusive message for the first time, several people mouthed their thanks to us and for us there was a real pride in being a Christian and in being able to bring something positive to the day because of faith, not despite it.

I found the weekend hugely positive and emotional, receiving more affirmation from strangers over Pride weekend than I have from the leadership of my own denomination in a long time. It was a reminder of what is important in faith, but also a reminder of how much of the Church is getting it so wrong.
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To summarise:

I heard more about the love of God from Dolly Parton, and saw more of Christ among the outcast at Pride, than I have from many of our Church leaders.

But that's nothing new, is it? Christ has always existed outside the institution - with it's neat rules, dotted i's and crossed t's - and we lose something when we assume that theology and faith is the preserve of those with a qualification.

If you're LGBTQII and have been hurt by religion, I apologise. So have I ... repeatedly. If you have questions or comments, I would encourage you to find an LGBTQII inclusive faith group (try the links above), and have a conversation with them.  If you have a faith and are looking for an inclusive worshipping community, again, try the links above.

If you don't identify as a person of faith, rather than speaking against religion, would you consider speaking against homophobia & bigotry in religion instead and encourage inclusive faith groups to help them bring change from within our faith communities?

LGBTI Anglican Coalition's response to the House of Bishops's "Pastoral" Guidance

LGBTI Anglican Coalition
www.lgbtac.org.uk contact@lgbtac.org.uk
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21 February 2014. LGBTI Anglican Coalition Open Letter to House Of Bishops Regarding Pastoral Guidance On Same Sex Marriage, Issued 14 February 2014

Dear Bishops
As you are aware, the letter issued by the House of Bishops on St Valentine’s Day has profoundly undermined the hopes expressed by the Archbishop of Canterbury and others for “good disagreement”. The image of the church in wider society has been further damaged, with headline messages such as ‘Church of England in snub to gay community’.

We remain committed to the need for prayer and facilitated conversations, as recommended in the Pilling Report and requested by the Church of England. However, it is hard to see how such conversations can be productive, in the light of this statement. In an attempt to re‐establish some positive foundations, we request answers to the following questions:

First, we note the traditional Anglican ‘insistence upon the duty of thinking and learning as essential elements in the Christian life’ (Lambeth Conference 1930) and ‘facing with intellectual integrity the questions raised by modern knowledge’ (Lambeth 1958), which has led to change on such matters as contraception. Please could you clarify how the House of Bishops has sought to inform itself in a systematic way of the work of the numerous Anglican and other theologians from 1940 onwards who have argued that loving committed same‐sex partnerships should be affirmed, and demonstrate that it has seriously considered the arguments of more than a handful of these before issuing statements such as this pastoral guidance?

Secondly, in view of repeated calls from the Lambeth Conference since 1978 for deep study of sexuality, including dialogue with homosexual people, echoed by the Church of England from 1979, please could you explain how the findings from subsequent dialogue with lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex (LGBTI) people and wider discussion have been collected by, and informed the thinking of, the House of Bishops?

Thirdly, given that the 1988 Lambeth Conference urged that such study and reflection take account of ‘the socio‐cultural factors that lead to the different attitudes in the provinces of our Communion’, how has the House of Bishops approached the difficult task of seeking to understand the socio‐cultural factors which might have influenced its members’ views on sexual ethics?

Fourthly, what efforts have been made to gather and analyse the comments of those who have studied Issues in human sexuality and Men and women in marriage, and how have the findings been taken into account in this pastoral statement?

Fifthly, as you know, there are many LGBTI clergy who, in good conscience seeking to model their household according to the way of Christ, are intending to marry or to convert their civil partnership to marriage. How will you ensure that these clergy can contribute fully and equally to the proposed discussions, without fear of sanction?

Finally, we would ask how you intend to resolve the issues of the presumed bipolarity of male and female in gender and sexual orientations and in their relationships in the light of the latest scientific and theological knowledge, so that all people, intersex, transgendered, lesbian, gay, bisexual and heterosexual, who seek to enter committed, loving and faithful relationships can find their rightful place within a renewed church which draws its teaching from the New Covenant and the unconditional love of Christ?

Yours sincerely
Mike Dark and John Blowers,
Joint‐Chair, LGBTI Anglican Coalition.

END


Member Groups
The Anglican Coalition provides UK based Christian LGBTI organisations with opportunities to create resources for the Anglican community and to develop a shared voice for the full acceptance of LGBTI people in the Anglican Communion.

The Group Members are as follows:
Accepting Evangelicals is a open network of Evangelical Christians who believe the time has come to move towards the acceptance of faithful, loving same‐sex partnerships at every level of church life.
http://www.acceptingevangelicals.org

Changing Attitude is a campaigning group drawn by God’s love to work for the full inclusion of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people in the Anglican Communion.
http://www.changingattitude.org.uk

The Evangelical Fellowship for Lesbian and Gay Christians (EFLGC), formed in 1979, is a group of women and men, most of whom are lesbian, gay or bisexual and come from an evangelical Christian background.
http://www.eflgc.org.uk

Inclusive Church is a network of individuals and organisations working to break down the barriers to full inclusion at all levels of the Church of England.
http://www.inclusive‐church.org.uk

The Lesbian and Gay Christian Movement is a UK‐based international Charity which challenges
homophobia and transphobia, especially within the Church and faith based organisations.
http://lgcm.org.uk

The Sibyls is a UK‐based confidential Christian spirituality group for transgender people, and their
supporters.
http://www.sibyls.co.uk

The Two:23 Network is a new network of Christians, connected by LGBT issues that aims to include and encourage all to discover the love of God for themselves, pursue the call of Christ and live in a way that cherishes others just as God cherishes us. It has developed from the LGBT‐affirming ministry of Courage.
http://two23.net/

THE UK Intersex Association Intersex people are individuals whose anatomy or physiology differ from contemporary cultural stereotypes of what constitute typical male and female. The United Kingdom Intersex Association (UKIA) is an education, advocacy, campaigning and support organisation which works on behalf of Intersex people.
http://www.ukia.co.uk/

Inclusive church in the community

Following on from my earlier post about an inclusive church service, in addition to attending a service, I had the pleasure of seeing the inclusive church in action in the community yesterday, as well.

I had been invited by Diana, to go and share in a picnic lunch on a blanket in Dolores Park, San Francisco, which was also an opportunity to offer spiritual advice to the local community.  Because of location, obviously much (if not most) of the local community is made up of members of the LGBT community.  Because it was warm and sunny, the park was full of people making the most of it ... there were people eating and drinking with friends, catching the sun, enjoying ballgames, walking dogs (and even a kitten!), holding hands, and relaxing. It's sad that I feel I need to add that last sentence, in case people think that gays in a park must automatically mean cruising, and it's sad that people who may assume that can't see the bigotry behind that assumption, or fail to recognise that - even if that were the case - that many straight people do it too (reference the Channel 4 documentary on 'Dogging').

Anyway, the group of us that gathered included a Deacon, two monks, a drag queen, a Rector, an Archdeacon, and myself.  We set up blankets, food and a sign advertising that we were offering spiritual advice. Although we didn't get much interest in the spiritual advice that day, we did have a guy come over who shared that the advice he'd received previously had really helped. He was walking by, collecting donations for the AIDS walk in a few weeks, so he was giving back to the community.  We also had a few people come over to say hello to some of our group that they knew, and there was no shame in doing so.

My experience of ministering to the LGBT community back home is that - often - they don't want to be seen to be talking to a person of faith, because of the LGBT community's experiences of faith communities; how they've been vilified and ostracised, or at best - allowed into our churches or groups, and demonised and dehumanised.  So, the two communities often have an inherent distrust of each other, which can make it very difficult to offer any authentic ministry to the LGBT community.

It was lovely to be gathered with such a diverse group in the midst of a very diverse community, and - once again - to be there with a sense of pride at being able to be present in a community without a sense of apology and guilt.  We were there because we genuinely wanted to help and affirm them for their sake, not because we wanted to change them into what we thought they should be, or because we wanted them to join our churches.  This was about them; helping them to make sense of their lives and their key life moments, and offering advice to help them become who they were created to be.

The ministry on the blanket had a sense of validity, through the hard work of the colleagues and friends I was gathered with ... they have spent a long time working in the community, and because of that, were able to be there without any sense of animosity or suspicion, which I think would be the case if a church group suddenly placed themselves in a park in the UK where the LGBT community was gathered to enjoy the sun. Through the way it has treated members of the LGBT community, the Church in the UK (capital 'C'), has largely lost it's credibility with the LGBT community (and it's not hard to see why).

My experience on Sunday was that it was both energising and inspiring to be in the midst of a community that had spent so many years in the margins, not as superiors, but as members of that community, offering ourselves and our ministry to them, and to have them view us without animosity.  We were simply an equal part of the community.

On the blanket in Dolores Park, offering ministry to the community gathered.

On the blanket in Dolores Park

After we left Dolores Park, Tommy, one of clergy invited me to join him in Aunt Charlies Lounge, one of the Drag clubs, to meet some of the Drag Queens he knows, and has ministered to (and with!). These ladies are part of the Grand Ducal Court of San Francisco, and I had the opportunity to chat briefly with a view of them, and met the reigning Grand Duchess, Paloma Volare.

These ladies obviously knew Tommy well, and had respect for him, and it was mutual.  They greeted each other with affection, and I learned of how these ladies worked extremely hard to raise funds for charity.  What was incredible to see was how his church and these ladies worked so well together, for the benefit of the local community.

They had raised most of the funds for his church to run their food pantry for a year, providing food to people in need.  However, he and his congregation had also helped raise funds for their charity concerns, which include AIDS charities, food charities, cancer charities, a community centre, and a nighttime ministry.  The Grand Ducal Court of San Francisco, of which these ladies are a part, raises around $50,000 annually for these charity concerns.  Tommy had helped them with that, and they share a concern for the local community, and are ministering together.  Tommy's church had included them in other ways, by offering ministry to them when they lost a dear friend, and by welcoming them into congregation functions, sometimes in drag, where they were celebrated and allowed to use their gifts.

This is another example of how much further inclusivity should go than merely stating that LGBT people are welcome.  This morning's church service I attended and these examples of inclusive church active in the community are examples of being truly inclusive, where people's diversity is celebrated, and the beauty and the gifts that they bring are encouraged and used for the benefit of the community around them.

Some photos of some of the ladies of the Grand Ducal Council of San Francisco

I'm not for one minute suggesting that there aren't other forms of inclusivity, or that these are the best expressions of an inclusive church at worship and in the community ... after all, it's a big world out there.  I'm speaking from my perspective and experiences, and obviously mentioning my impressions of what I've seen and how it's impacted on me.

What struck me was how much good can be done in the community and for the kingdom, when people are included as they are, affirmed as they are, and encouraged and enabled to use their gifts, without having to feel shame, without feeling that they can't let people see who they really are.

This is a very good example of what the inclusive church looks like in the community.

What does an inclusive church service look like?

On Sunday, 7 July, I experienced several different forms of inclusive church.  This post will focus only on the first part ... the church service I attended.

I started the day at St Gregory of Nyssa, San Francisco, a community that actively advertises itself as inclusive of the LGBT community, reaches out to poor people (amongst other things, they run a food pantry where tons of groceries are shared out every week, and where those who come to get food items are as welcome in worship as they are for the food pantry!), and where people on the fringes in other parts of the Church are celebrated and included, not just in being welcome, but have the opportunity to use their gifts in positions of leadership.  The worship space is in two sections, one section they use for the service of the Word (the readings, prayers & sermons), and the second section for the sacraments (the communion, or Eucharistic prayer).

The service involves lots of congregational singing, without instruments, and elements of the worship service are brought in from around the globe, with music bells and chants from other countries, and references to other cultures in items scattered around the church and also used in worship.  The congregation sing most of the liturgy, and are encouraged to interact in other ways (such as touching the Scripture which is processed through the congregation after the readings, sharing their own understandings of the topic for the week with each other after the sermon has been preached, and offering up their prayers).

After the Word part of the service, the congregation sings and dances together to the altar, and gather around the central altar, and are surrounded by paintings of contemporary and traditional saints ... giving a sense of everyone being gathered together.  The communion prayer includes more congregational singing, led by the choir, and the congregation are all invited to receive bread and wine, and to share it with each other.

I think that St. Gregory's own website can perhaps explain it in better detail than I have ... this is mixed in with my impressions.  You can see more here.

Obviously, because of my context, what impressed me, was how LGBT folk are publicly encouraged to come and join in the community (even their business cards make mention of it - see below!), rather than the whole 'cloak and dagger' approach in the UK, which is too often the case.  In the UK, there are LGBT inclusive churches, but in many cases an inclusive member of the clergy is not backed up by an inclusive congregation, or vice versa.  So many LGBT folk may find a clergy person who is inclusive, but they can't be seen to be LGBT by the rest of the congregation, and so are able to attend ... but not able to be themselves.

A montage of the front and back of two of St Gregory of Nyssa's business cards

The other thing that impressed me is that there is no secret made of who is LGBT in the congregation ... they are able to mention their same sex husbands or wives in the prayers, ministry is offered to their whole families, and they are able to be in positions of leadership, and to use their gifts and passions to serve the church.  The other thing that I should make mention of is the fact that this was a congregation like any other - people were celebrating wedding anniversaries, praying for sick or dying loved ones, giving thanks for the blessings they'd received, they sought to apply the Scriptures to their lives, and shared bread together. They work for the good of the local community and are involved in the wider church.  There is nothing there that validates the unfounded fear that allowing LGBT people into the church will turn church into a singles club, or a dysfunctional camp bitch-fest (too late for that, many would say, the straight clergy already do that!), or somehow make it a less Godly place.

This is truly affirming and inclusive.  This is what the Church SHOULD look like. People should be able to attend, as themselves.  People should be able to bring their whole lives into the worshipping community, and they should be able to offer their time, talents and gifts for the Kingdom.

This is a far cry from being allowed to attend ... quietly ... without standing out.  A far cry from having to sit next to your partner, with no sign of affection between you, of pretending to be somebody else, so that people don't make you feel like a novelty or like an inferior Christian, because you're not able to overcome this modern 'affliction' of homosexuality.  People should be encouraged, affirmed, blessed & encouraged to belong as WHOLE people, so that they can better be who they were created to be.  We can't force beautifully created people into boxes that more easily fit our moulds.

This is what inclusive church looks like ... and it's utterly normal, and perfectly fabulous.

Here's a few pictures from the day ...

Where the service of the Word takes place. 

The octagonal space in which communion is celebrated.

A montage of some of the wall panels.

Reflections on "Graced with light" by Anne Patterson, in Grace Cathedral, SFO

I've already reflected on my experience of a service at Grace Cathedral, and a little bit about the art installation they have there at the moment.  You can see that here.

Yesterday, I went back to Grace Cathedral, to see the finished artwork. Art is interesting ... hubby will tell you I'm not much of an art connoisseur (euphemism is strong in that statement). With me, all art falls into one of only two categories; Art I like, and art I dislike.

When Mike & I go to galleries, we have to agree to divide and conquer, and we meet up in the café at the end, as we proceed at very different paces. Mike likes to admire, digest, study, understand and remember the art ... he can often instinctively tell who an artist's influences were, what techniques they're using, and whether they were ground-breaking in their techniques, style or subject. I, on the other hand, only know if I like it or not. If I like it, I'll go over and admire it ... occasionally, I may even study it.  If, however, I don't like a piece, I'll move immediately on.  I can't spend time looking at something I don't like, regardless of who it's by, how important it is as a piece, or how much it's worth.

I wouldn't dream of rushing anybody through a gallery or museum at my pace, so Mike gives me the freedom to rush through, and I give him the freedom to take his time.  If either of us sees a piece we want to show the other one, we'll go back and find the other.  Often, I enjoy the galleries themselves more than the art they contain, and I'll spend time watching the flow of people, looking at the architecture and the lighting.  Occasionally, because I'm fascinated by security (thanks to my Dad's former career), I'll study the security measures in place, and see if I can find any improvements that can be made.

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Anyway ... that's all a massive aside.  Getting back to art I like vs. art I dislike. Art, like liturgy, speaks in different ways to different people, and what the artist intended isn't necessarily what the viewer perceives.

'Graced with light', by Anne Patterson, spoke to me in many ways. I don't know if any of them are as she intended, but I offer my impressions of it as a piece.  In short, I loved it. I spent hours studying it, photographing it from different angles (I even tried a little video with sound, but couldn't figure out that function on instagram). I've been to study it twice now, and will probably visit it again before I leave.

One of the reasons I love it is because it's made up of so many thousands of individual strands, which speak to me of community, of the strength of the whole being made up of it's individual parts, rather than about a single piece of art.  This is even more the case, because the community has been involved in putting the piece together, in helping to cut and hang each piece of ribbon.  All of this speaks about the value of each individual in the community, rather than the value of the artwork.

Looking up at the individual ribbons making up the completed piece.

Another reason I love it, is because it contains a range of different colours, mixed together.  There is no segregation, no separation into order, no attempt at conformity.  This speaks to me about the beauty that diversity brings to the whole. It speaks to me of the value of diversity, inclusivity & affirmation, and how the community is richer and more beautiful for it.  The fact that the ribbons are constantly fluttering with the airflow around them speaks to me about the freedom of each individual (ribbon) to be and having the freedom to move.

The third reason the installation particularly spoke to me, was the title "Graced with light," combined with the light shining on the ribbons from above.  This highlighted their differences and their beauty, rather than attempting to hide it in a dim space.  This particularly spoke to me of the value of celebrating differences and diversity, rather than hiding them, or expecting them to conform.  In particular, one phrase that entered my mind was, "If you see the world in terms of black and white, you need to step into the light".

I love it as a piece, and as a community project. I love what it says to me, and I love that it's backed up by what we experienced when we attended the Sunday service.

This is, however, just a blog post, and I encourage you to go and see the real thing while it's up.  It may not speak to you in the same way as it spoke to me ... there's much here that is about my personal journey.  But it is very much worth seeing.

To close, two montages of images I collected during the day.

It's the little things ...

I stumbled across this sign yesterday, in the window of a local police station ...

Like many other things in San Francisco, it made more of an impression than I thought. It struck me that it's a very small thing ... I little laminated sign in a window ... but it adds to lots more small things that make a big impression.

This is a city that, through hardship, has had to recognise that all people are equal, and that all need to be affirmed and included.  Deeper than that, all need to be VALUED and PROTECTED.  Many of our civil services, institutions and authorities now state (because the law requires them to), that they will accept LGBT  people.

However, acceptance is quite passive, and implies that there's something to accept, because you wouldn't ordinarily be acceptable.  You accept change, you accept hardship, you accept that occasionally you may have to put up with people you don't like.  Acceptance does not say, "I value you," or "I celebrate you," or "I  love you." It says, "I'm willing to put up with you."

It's an entirely different thing to recognise LGBT people, not as people who won't go away, but as valuable members of your community, with gifts and talents to bring, that are - not just welcome - but NECESSARY.  To send out a message that says, "You are OUR people, we love you and we need you."

This is not about worrying about people flaunting their identity in your face, or worrying that they will appear too 'Gay' (or Bi or Trans or whatever), or that they will have questionable morals. This is not about any of that.  This is about people having the freedom to be themselves without fear, about people feeling valued as valuable members of society, about people being respected members of society, about people being able to love and live, about BEING.

True inclusivity is not just acceptance.  We need to go further than 'allowing' LGBT people into our communities and our churches.  We need to go looking for them, we need to invite them in, we need to celebrate them, we need to use their gifts and their talents, and protect them as our own.  That is inclusivity.

And, by the way, this would be the same for any institution ... I'm not picking on the Church ... merely mentioning it, because that is my context.

San Francisco Pride - a day to feel proud!

Today, I had the pleasure of marching in the 43rd San Francisco Pride with the contingent from the Episcopalian Diocese of California.  I had been both looking forward to-, and dreading the day, in equal measure.

I have shared before that it's been a long time since I felt proud to be an Anglican ... the last time was probably as a teenager in South Africa, when I first became politically aware of the injustice of Apartheid, and saw the Anglican Church fighting against Apartheid, and also electing Archbishop Desmond Tutu as it's leader.  Then, the Anglican Church I worshipped in, spoke out for minority groups, supported them, defended them and fought for their full inclusion and for their lives.

I can't remember feeling that same sense of lasting pride since then, and have often reflected that I feel shame about being an Anglican, and about affiliating with and serving an institution which has become so synonymous with the exclusion of the LGBT community in the UK, that it's difficult for the inclusive voices inside the organisation to make themselves heard, because people have stopped listening.

We all approach every situation in life with our previous experiences that have shaped and influenced us, and these guide our emotions.  And so, I rejoiced at having the opportunity to march today, but was nervous about over-identifying with a denomination I've become wary of, regarding it's dealings with the LGBT community.  I could not have been more wrong in this case, and in many ways, today I began to feel a certain pride at being an Anglican again.  I was welcomed into the group, met some folk and was generously given a pair of rainbow wings by a member of the clergy, which added some much-needed to colour to my plain black clergy outfit. ;)  I also met Diana Wheeler, of Oasis (the LGBT Ministry of the Diocese of California) and Sister Eden Asp, of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.

My wings :)

Me with Diana Wheeler & Sister Eden Asp

The day started with an open-air Eucharist (Mass) in Beale Street, in front of the Greyhound station.  When the Right Revd. Marc Andrus opened the service, he welcomed all to the day, and shared that he had chosen to wear a red stole (liturgical scarf), rather than white (for celebrations), because he was mindful of the martyrs that had gone ahead of us in the fight for equality & justice.  He then reminded us that, although equal marriage had come back to California, there was still much to be done in the fight for equality and freedom for all, and called us to join him in committing to marriage equality, to commit to voter rights, to commit to equality for minority groups in other nations and to commit to the planet and to tackling climate change.  Very poignant, relevant, right and refreshing words.

We all joined together in singing All Are Welcome (by Marty Haugen), which caused a few to wander over and join in for the rest of the service.  After the readings, The Right Revd. Mark Holmerud, Bishop of the Sierra Pacific Synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, preached about how marriage equality was long overdue, and offered his thanks for those who helped with the struggle.  He reflected on the theme of this year's pride being, "Embrace, Encourage, Empower" and offered three other words; "Comfort, Control & Commitment".  He mentioned that equal marriage opponents were no longer comfortable, wanted to regain control and were committed to removing equal marriage again, but that it was our calling to help them understand that they haven't lost anything, when everyone has gained so much.  He finished by calling us to go out to love, to encourage, empower and embrace.

The service continued with the prayers, the peace, and the breaking and sharing of bread & wine, and finished with the words of the blessing:

Live without fear; your Creator has made you holy,
has always protected you, and loves you as a mother.
Go in peace to follow the good road and may God's blessing in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit be with you always.
Amen"

The beginning of the Pride Mass 

Bishop Marc Andrus during the Eucharistic prayer

After the service, we prepared for the march (a little prematurely, as it was around a 4-hour wait after the service, before we got to start moving in the parade), but it presented the opportunity to meet more people, find out their stories and share mine, swap contact details and make final adjustments to the bus.  In the end, the wait was that long, that the heat began popping the balloons on the coach.  But, amazingly, people stuck it out.

I managed to chat to Bishop Marc Andrus and his wife, Sheila, about their ministry to the LGBT community, and their role in the fight to help bring Marriage Equality back to California.  It was both humbling and encouraging to meet church leaders that were that committed to the full inclusion of the LGBT community that they not only opened church doors, but actively fought for their equality & inclusion.

Me with Bishop Marc Andrus and Revd. Thomas Jackson 

The Front of the bus

When we did finally get to march, it was all over in a bit of a rush, but people were fantastic. The emotions we saw on people's faces as we marched in front of them ranged from surprise, to elation, to amusement. We were cheered, applauded, waved at and asked questions about the Diocese of California's commitment to perform marriages for Same-sex couples.  Several people asked me if I would marry them, but I had to confess that I was only visiting briefly, but that I'd love to come back if they invited me to attend.  Some people in the crowd pointed to a cross they were wearing or a T-shirt with a slogan about God, and applauded us, and the impression I got was that they were rejoicing that finally they, too, could bring their faith to the table and share that with their other LGBT friends, and didn't have to separate their faith identity & their sexual identity in front of us.

Again, I think today made more of an impact on me than I thought it would, and will stick with me for years. The powerful witness and potential of an inclusive church should not be undermined.  I suppose the challenge to the people out there is, when they find an inclusive church, attend it, and support it, because without that, they struggle to survive ... the churches that exclude the LGBT community are often very well funded and attended, but we need to be supporting the much smaller inclusive congregations, to get them to grow, and flourish, and witness about an inclusive faith.

A couple of things stood out for me today ...

• In my conversation with Bishop Marc Andrus, we reflected on the state of affairs in the Church of England, and I mentioned that one of the big differences, was that the Church of England was sometimes ACCEPTING of the LGBT community, but that that did not mean the same thing as WELCOMING them. And Bishop Marc went even further and said that there's a big difference between WELCOMING and INVITING.  Inclusive churches can be found in the UK, but the Church of England seems to lack voices that are actually going out to the LGBT community and inviting them in, and welcoming them, and affirming them, and allowing them to bring their gifts and identities into our worshipping communities.
  
  There is such a massive difference between accepting (a very passive thing), and actively inviting and welcoming, that I could write pages.
  
  If people are invited, welcomed, affirmed and included - as themselves - they are encouraged to bring their gifts, they are energised, they are empowered, they are transformed, they bring their gifts to the table, and the community around them is enriched & grows.
  
  If they're merely accepted, they *may* walk through the church doors, but they will keep their private lives and their identities hidden from those around them, and - as a result - they can never be full members, because they are not allowed to be full.
• The second thing that really struck me, was when we marched by the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, and they thanked the bishop and the clergy for working so hard for the LGBT community. That really brought a tear to my eye, and made me proud - for today - to call myself an Episcopalian.

Grace in Grace cathedral

Mike and I went to the 11.00 service at Grace cathedral on Sunday, 23 June.

The cathedral, a replica of Notre Dame, currently has thousands of 84 foot lengths of ribbon suspended from the ceiling, which have been prepared by the local community, and present a visual image of inclusivity and equality. The ribbons will have shades of red added this week, expanding even more on this theme, as all the colours of the rainbow hang from the rafters, in time for Pride weekend.

This equality is further represented in the congregation, which included a range of shapes, incomes, colours and sizes, and also a number of same-sex couples, which both felt and looked perfectly natural. The importance of this cannot be underestimated, as it meant that we didn't feel out of place, or that we had to pretend we were friends in case it offended somebody. We could attend a service together, like any other couple, we could worship together, hold hands and receive communion together, and this was just a normal thing. We had the freedom to be a "couple that pray together"!

The sermon was given by Revd Winnie Varghese, and made reference to equality and equal marriage.  It felt both perfectly natural and totally right to be hearing about Equality for all human beings in a church setting, and it struck me how wrong the Church (with a capital 'C') has got it, when it's only in a small number of communities and congregations that all people are welcomed, included, affirmed and blessed.

It's such a small thing, but it made a big impact on us to be able to feel at home, not as two individuals, but as a couple, together ... even moreso because it was the first anniversary of our Civil Partnership registration.

With thanks to the Very Revd. Dr. Jane Shaw for her and the cathedral's hospitality, and to Revd. Winnie Varghese for an inclusive sermon.

Inclusive faith groups need you ...

It never ceases to amaze me how much money is apparently around to both sponsor, and be made from, bigotry and bigoted causes.

The language used by organisations that support bigoted views often claims to support what is holy, sacred, or core to our values as a society.  They use scare tactics and a series of untruths to attempt to label those they're seeking to oppress and to gain support and finances from people who don't wish to see their lifestyle or value system threatened.  In my opinion this is less of a faith issue, but more of a power issue, and occasionally a financial issue.

By contrast, the groups that seek to promote full inclusion often work with very limited budgets and payrolls, but work very hard.

This is especially true in the case of so-called faith groups fighting against the LGBT community.  There are plenty of groups working very hard to fight the full inclusion of LGBT people, to campaign against marriage equality & marriage equality in faith communities, and most recently - often campaigning for bills which allow discrimination on the religious grounds.

I don't believe the answer to fighting bigotry in faith groups is to silence the voice of faith. If we allow ourselves to go down that road, we effectively silence all faith voices, including those fighting hard to bring full equality and inclusion.  People of faith who believe in equality for all often speak out in favour of full inclusion at the risk of their careers, and sometimes even their homes and families.  If we're to bring change in faith communities and have faith communities that affirm and include all and advocate for equality, we're going to need to support them and help them find their voice. If we give them back their voice, it removes some of the power of the oppressive groups that seek to silence everyone that doesn't submit to their control.

I wish to draw attention to some of the groups working for the full inclusion of the LGBT community, in faith groups, in society, in law and in our culture.  They need your support, your time, your gifts and talents, your prayers and your donations.

Faith Groups

• LGCM - the Lesbian & Gay Christian Movement.
  Find out more about them here
  Donate to their ministry here
• Changing Attitude - Changing Attitude works for the full inclusion of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people in the life of the Anglican Communion.
  Find out more about them here
  Donate to their ministry here
• Two:23 - an evangelical Christian with a LGBT inclusive ministry
  Find out more about Two:23 here
• Diverse Church - Diverse Church is a supportive community of 250+ young 18-30yo LGBT+ Christians, predominantly in UK evangelical churches. They aim to be a pastoral/mission resource for the wider church.
  Find out more about them here
  
• Inclusive Church - working for a church that is welcoming and open to all, and also holds a directory of inclusive churches nationwide.
  Find out more about them here
  Support their ministry here
• Accepting Evangelicals - Accepting Evangelicals is a open network of Evangelical Christians who believe the time has come to move towards the acceptance of faithful, loving same-sex partnerships at every level of church life, and the development of a positive Christian ethic for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.
  Find out more about them here
• Metropolitan Community Church - a global inclusive church movement
  You can read more about them here
  Find their Western European & United Kingdom ministry groups here (you can support their ministries on their respective pages)
  Support their global ministry here
• Matthew Vines' Reformation Project
  Matthew is a remarkable young man. There are plenty of people who have explained the theology behind inclusive Christianity, but Matthew is perhaps the first to make it available in a YouTube video, in the form of an hour-long lecture, that provides a brief summary of all Scriptural views of homosexuality. Matthew's page is here.
  This video, and it's growth in global popularity, gave rise to a ministry by the name of
  The Reformation Project - a Bible-based, Christian non-profit organisation that seeks to reform church teaching on sexual orientation and gender identity.  Read more about this ministry here.
  The Reformation Project is only available in the USA for now, but is hopefully coming to the UK soon.
  Support Matthew's Reformation Project here.
  I'm hoping to get the chance to meet Matthew at some point over the course of my Sabbatical, but obviously time-permitting for both of us.

Community / campaigning groups

• StonewallProbably the group many people think of first when thinking of a group working towards equality for LGBT people.
  Find out more about Stonewall here
  Find out about the many ways you can support Stonewall here.

This list is not exhaustive, but a brief introduction into a few of the groups I've had the pleasure of being in contact with - and supporting - over the last year or two.  The people in these groups are extremely hard-working and dedicated, but they desperately need support - in whatever form you can offer it - to continue to fight for equality for the LGBT community in our government and in our faith communities.

I regularly tweet about Equality and Equal Marriage (although not exclusively) ... you can follow my twitter feed here.