Gay Liberation Theology

It's been a while since I posted a link about any sort of Gay Liberation Theology.  Is there even such a thing as "Gay Liberation Theology"?  Some would probably say no, and that it's "Queer politics", while others would probably say yes. Anyway ... whatever it's called, I think it may be possible to get activism fatigue ... you seem to try for so long to get people to accept you as a whole person (rather than a "broken image" of the person they think you should be) and the longer you try, the more people you encounter that demand again that you justify your right to "be" ... you just get tired of saying the same things over and over again. Sometimes, it's easier to ignore them and just go on living life.  But then, I guess, that only encourages them to ignore you and go on living in their own bubbles. So here's another open and honest testimony I found online today ... happy reading ... http://www.salon.com/life/feature/2011/03/27/presbyterian_minister_changes_mind_about_gays

Another epistle about being both gay and Christian ...

This is another email to my friend about being gay and Christian and trying to reconcile the two ... -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thanks for your honesty and your reply. Sorry it's taken me a while. I respect your view ... it was one I tried to live by for a long time, but it was self-destructive. I tried to do what your friend is currently doing ... it left me so deep in depression, because I couldn't change who I was and I believed therefore that who I was was an abhorration to God and that would never be able to change. It was a bit of a rough place to be believing that my salvation had been removed from me because I couldn't become someone that God would approve of, and yet I didn't want to live because life was desperately lonely. [As I mentioned in my other note, caught between the hell I was living with and the hell I thought I was inevitably going to.] I suppose I should also add that the ex-Gay "ministries" that originated in the States have been discredited by medical boards and governments in the West as misleading, misguided and extremely harmful. Several of their spokespeople and directors have either left them or been caught soliciting sex in public places, because they craved companionship but couldn't pursue it openly, and were therefore reduced to the risky and emotionally harmful act of trying to secretly have anonymous sex with strangers, and then return to their 'wonderful and healed lives'. Consider the apology from some of the former leaders of such movements at http://www.beyondexgay.com/article/apology Take a look at the story of Randolph Baxter on the website of Courage UK , who used to be part of an ex-Gay ministry and is now part of an ex-ex-Gay ministry. ;o) http://www.courage.org.uk/testimonies/Baxter.shtml Look at their 'Basis of faith'. The ex-gay ministries still have their fans, and some of those are politicians, and some of the programmes are extremely powerful, but they are largely discredited in the West. Those programmes are now trying to market themselves to developing markets and Africa, in the hopes that they'll be able to develop their agenda there. So, in addition to being discredited and harmful, I often wonder if it's a power agenda, rather than a faith one, using a very credible-sounding faith façade for their own purposes. I don't agree with a purely fundamental reading of Scripture, as it's a vibrant and adapting document that remains relevant to all cultures but cannot be enforced in it's original context without mercy because - after all - it communicates a loving and merciful God. But, I am prepared to say that - as much as I believe my reading of the verses to be correct, the fundamentalists believe theirs to be correct - and they're not trying to be hurtful, they're only trying to be true to what they believe is right. I often wish they would have the same respect for my views. In my mind, rather than thinking of it as absolute in it's current English translation, I think it depends on the reading and the translation. There are a few verses (I think 6 in total) that speak against homosexuality, but the difficulty is in context and translation. The Greek and Hebrew words that were translated into 'homosexual' could mean several things, including 'promiscuous', 'people who use power to obtain sex' or even 'idol worship'. The difficulty in some of the cases is that the original word is used so rarely that it's difficult to find a confident translation. But someone settled on homosexual and since then, evangelical Christians the world over have used it to judge gays, lesbians, bi's and transgendered people, and even advocated hate crimes (and more recently, not speaking out against human rights violations, such as the Ugandan Government's new law which punishes gay men with the death penalty if discovered - or even if outed by someone else, that evidence is sufficient to sentence them to death, but the evangelical churches are silent on the issue). Of course, in the past, evangelicals have also supported racism, slavery and misogyny ... all of which is now acknowledged to be hugely incorrect ... but homophobia is still popular in faith. It's a very difficult and painful issue for a lot of people, and to be honest, influences a lot of evangelical Christians, and there is a lot of power play and a lot of money being poured into supporting Christians and churches that follow their lead in enforcing the judgement and/or expulsion of gays. They will hide behind 'we love gays, we just don't love what they do', and say that gay people are ok, as long as they're celibate and lonely, but they're operating under the severely erred belief that gay and lesbian people are actually straight people CHOOSING to have sex with people of the same gender ... not recognising that it's about identity, about love, about personality ... not just genitalia. Take a look at the http://www.wouldjesusdiscriminate.org/ page. And they offer a few alternative interpretations and insights on http://www.wouldjesusdiscriminate.org/biblical_evidence.html Now, I recognise that some of the views they express may be difficult, as they're contrary to the views you've been taught so far, and go against what you believe, but if nothing else, look at them as an opportunity to discover that there are other ways of reading the scriptures out there, and each side believes their way to be correct, and tries their best to live it out in a way that honours their faith. Hope you're well, and as awesome as you always were! Luv Andy

A gay priest's story ...

A friend, when discovering that I was gay and in a relationship, expressed that it was a bit of a shock and asked if others were shocked when they found out.  This was my rather lengthy reply and is another telling of my story, which you may know some of, through previous entries. "I guess I did shock a few people when I came out, but not really when I started dating. I told a number of friends when I came back to PE after my first year in the UK when I'd had time to come to terms with it, but it wasn't a big surprise for many of them ... the pieces just fell into place I guess. To be fair, my own journey was so traumatic and took so much of my emotional, physical, spiritual and mental energy, that I can't really worry about how someone will receive the news. At the same time, I don't broadcast it, because I know some would struggle with it, but I can only be who I am, and when they find out, I can't take on their struggles as well ... they need to walk their own journey. I have always known I was gay, but tried to suppress it for many years (28 of them). I guess I have to admit that my work/life balance was unhealthy, but I poured myself into my youth work as a way of hiding from myself. I frequently worked 18 hour days and believed I was being committed and pious, but occasionally I caught up with myself and despised who I saw. I even tried seeing a psychologist for 2.5 years and putting myself through a "Healing from homosexuality" course that was organised by someone that had been on the Living Waters / Desert Streams courses, with financial support from one of the pastors at Harvest Christian Fellowship. All that transpired was that the psychologist got me to sever my links with my family, because he believed it was all down to nurture and imperfect family relationships, and the "healing" course left me feeling hopelessly inadequate and guilty, because I wasn't being healed. It was also unhelpful when the guy who ran the course couldn't admit that he was still a gay man struggling with his need for companionship, not a healed straight man, and even less helpful when he became attracted to me and stopped talking to me. LOL. It was an extremely dark period in my life, where I believed that I could never know love and companionship unless I put myself and some poor woman through the sham of a marriage without intimacy. I couldn't do that to someone else, and I could no longer run from who I was, so I faced a life of loneliness and hiding the real me. At the same time, I knew that I was called to ministry, but that the institution I worked for would never accept me, so I had to hide from them, too. My emotions were all over the place and I was an overworked, exhausted, lonely and miserable wreck, who occasionally went from extremely low to manic. I often thought of death as my only escape from the desperate loneliness and used to ponder suicide as a better alternative to an indeterminate number of lonely and unhappy years, and I remember sharing with my friend, Tim, my Methodist friend, that the only thing keeping me alive was the belief that the hell I was in was somehow better than the hell I would go to for being gay. So, yeah ... not a great place to be. All of this was going on at the time I first met you guys. You were a breath of fresh air and a joy and you energised my ministry at the time, but all of this was going on in the background. When I moved to St Hugh's in Newton Park, things had become even darker for me and Eddie Daniels who was the Rector at the time, reassured me that I could share anything with him in confidence and he would support me. Against my better judgement I let my guard down and shared some of what was going on inside me with him. He made all the right noises and promised to support me, but then I discovered he was going to parishioners behind my back and starting rumours that I was sexually involved with a lot of the guys at St. Cuthbert's ... Neal, Dylan, Gregg, Mike ... and Tim, my Methodist friend, and JP, one of the young adults at St Hugh's. Good guys who I was very close to, but they're all straight and just close friends. They were all very good about it when I told them what rumours were going about, and offered to take the matter to court, but I was too scared of being forced to publicly come out, so I never did. Eddie used this and kept spreading the rumours, and when I eventually plucked up the courage to confront him, hoping he would back down, his defence was, "I am your Rector and I'll do whatever I want." He then forced me into a relationship with a woman I was close friends with, which ruined our friendship and broke her heart. After that relationship failed, and it broke her heart, he even tried to force us to live together in the parish house, which I think was abominable and - even worse - the leaders in the parish saw no wrong in his actions. So, I decided the most mature thing would be for me to hand in my resignation and ask Bishop Bethlehem Nopece to move me to another parish, which I did in a perfectly adult way, meeting with the Bishop before resigning and explaining the situation to him, and him agreeing with me and saying he would find me a parish to go to. I wrote to Eddie, explaining honestly that I was saddened we could not work together, but wished him well in his ministry and wished to move on in three month's time (the suggested notice period in the Anglican Church). He responded by kicking me out of the parish immediately, without any chance to say goodbye to the congregation and without any formal farewell. Obviously, the parish then assumed that I had done something worthy of such banishment, and combined with the rumours, Eddie was making a pretty good job of ruining my reputation and my chance at ministry in Port Elizabeth.  It also didn't help that Terry Beadon, who'd moved parishes, then felt it important for him to post a letter to the congregation on the noticeboard, telling them I was being disciplined for being bad and calling for them to pull together behind Eddie. When the matter went to the Bishop, I presented evidence to him and two of his advisors.  None of them knew my side of the story (not that they asked) and they agreed that Eddie was acting irresponsibly and irrationally. However, I also discovered that rank is more important than honesty and justice, and the Bishop didn't challenge Eddie's rapid removal of me, and also didn't keep to his promise to find me another parish, so I was left without a parish to work in, without a way to publicly clear my name (unless I took the matter to court and made it public knowledge that I was gay - something I wasn't ready for). So I was left to deal with it, in silence and on my own. Robbie, a friend of mine, took me into his parish in Walmer, where I worked for 6 months.  However, I had no desire to remain in the Diocese of Port Elizabeth anymore and told Rob that before I made any rash decisions, I needed a year out overseas, maybe at a Theological College, maybe even a monastery. Coincidentally (God-incedentally!), 48 hours later Rob had a phonecall from a monk he'd never spoken with before, asking if he knew of any young clergy who were available to do a year's exchange in the UK at a Theological College - owned by a monastery!! Obviously, I jumped at the chance, and that's how I ended up in the UK in 2002. It was at Mirfield that I first encountered Christians in ministry who were gay and not ashamed about it, and began gently being honest with myself and others about who I was. I realised that I couldn't fight the fact that I was called to ministry and I couldn't renounce my faith. But I had also spent a long time trying to run from who I was and change who I was, and I couldn't do that either. So I had to realise that I was both Christian who was called AND gay. Not easy, but unavoidable. So I would have to try my best to be faithful to both. To practise my faith in a way that was inclusive and to share that inclusive faith with others who were being told that their faith would not accept them. At the same time, I needed to live my life as a gay person who was being true to my faith.  I have to recognise that I'm gay - I can't hide it, I can't pretend to be anything else and I don't need to be. I didn't choose to be gay and given the choice I probably wouldn't have, but it's who I was and I needed to be honest in my relationship with God as much as with other people. So I need to responsible about that and represent gay people to my faith as much as the other way round. It's a difficult gap to bridge ... on one side, gay people are extremely hurt by the Church (global, not just Anglican) and are forced away from it and it's alleged good intentions ("loving the sinner not the sin" is really just another way of saying, "you can belong as long as you act like one of us") and there's a lot of bitter feeling. On the other side, the Church is very distrusting of gay people and operating with loads of misconceptions, such as gay people are somehow straight people who choose to have sex with people of the same sex, or that all gays are paedophiles (when, in fact, paedophiles are paedophiles, and they may be straight or gay), or even that gay people are somehow trying to recruit straight people (if it was that easy to change orientation, then gay people could become straight and save themselves a lot of grief!).  I also operates under the misconception that being gay is purely about genital intercourse, and not about falling in love and sharing your life with someone you love, where physical attraction MAY form part of the story, but is not the whole. So, sitting between the two camps can be difficult ... I have a lot of Christian friends who don't like gay people and I have a lot of gay friends who don't like Christians. I try to be frank and unashamed of who I am to both of them. So I've reached a place of finding a purpose in who I am, rather than trying to hide it or run from it. At the same time, I'm alarmed that the Church as an institution is become increasingly hateful, exclusive and alarmist when it comes to it's dealings with the gay community, and I need to recognise that I may not always be able to be in ministry, but as a wise friend of mine once told me, "always remember that you were called to serve God, but not necessarily with a dog collar." I am still in ordained ministry, but work as a University Chaplain. That enables me to work in an institution which is inclusive and in which I can be myself, but also to do a lot of good work with the LGBT students and the students of faith, and with students who struggle with either or both. I find it very diverse, challenging and interesting. For now, I'm happy in Chaplaincy. We'll have to wait and see how long I remain in full-time ministry. If anything, what I went through in Port Elizabeth broke my love affair with it. I love ministry, but I don't need to be a part of an institution that deals with people in that way. So, my work/life balance has improved remarkably. I now spend time investing in me as well, which is nice. I also decided to start dating in 2003, as I couldn't continue living life miserably and lonely. I was nervous at first, and was probably damaged goods, but met some great guys who are still friends, broke one or two hearts and had mine broken once or twice along the way. How very normal. ;o) I met Mike in 2008, and we hit it off straight away. He's absolutely lovely, and we've both had an interesting time, learning to trust someone else with our deepest emotions. I'm very lucky to have met him, and I'm not letting go anytime soon. Obviously, we have our abrasive moments, but that's relationships. I'm saddened that I can't share that joy with everyone ... and that I need to watch what I say and how we act in public. We can't hold hands, we have to watch eye contact. We can't even sit too close. There are some functions I can't take him to and I sometimes feel I've betrayed him when I introduce him as a friend, rather than my partner, but sadly, that's the way things go from time to time. Thankfully, however, there are places and friends with whom we can be ourselves and just be normal, which is great. It's been a helluva rollercoaster ride, but I'm thankful for where I am now and for the opportunities I get to just be me, and the opportunity to finally have someone who loves me for me and not the me I think they want to see."

Barbie gets religion

I thought I'd send you this pious beauty to bring you special Easter wishes. ;o)   It's from an American blogsite ( http://beautytipsforministers.com/2010/03/28/the-genius-of-the-rev-julie-blake-fisher/ ) which is silly and fun and written by a very funky and sassy minister called Victoria Weinstein (Peacebang).   Every blessing, this Easter, and always ...

RIP Kristian Digby

Such a sad day. I share Alistair Appleton's sentiments that Jan Moir should leave his grieving relatives alone, and not try to step on the memories of a deceased man, in order to boost her own bigoted agenda. Obviously, I didn't know him personally, but he was a smiling face and a warm personality on the telly.  He was gifted, bright and enthusiastic. We need more Kristian Digbys, and less Jan Moirs.

At last ...

... I have found something meaningful to do with bad Theology books. ;)

"God works DESPITE the Church, not because of it ..."

Time and time I am reminded of the above phrase, and in fact rely on it to stop me becoming disillusioned by the bigotry, politics and power struggles within the Church.

The Anglican church in Port Elizabeth has again proclaimed it's love of bigotry and regression http://www.epherald.co.za/article.aspx?id=467360

Unfortunately, what the person who wrote the article forgot to state was that it's not all Anglicans that are opposed to gay clergy or gay marriage, but only those who have a limited understanding of Scripture and find it too uncomfortable to read it inclusively.

Thankfully, there are many who are willing to recognise that Theology is not always comfortable and should always be practised in a way that is relevant to both the current context and it's original context ... even if that is not the way it was taught to you. That's what discovering truth is ... and thankfully there are many who are happy to discover it.

Good News can be found in South Africa

There is good news in South Africa. Now, if only the rest of the clergy were as committed to sharing Good News with all.

http://archbishop.anglicanchurchsa.org/2009/08/resolution-of-diocese-of-cape-town-on.html

The race is on...

LOL ... I've just found the news articles about the atheist bus campaign that's ruffling evangelical tail feathers. The buses have amusing phrases on them, like "There's probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life." This became a news item when a bus driver refused to drive one of the buses, because the website name ( http://www.atheistcampaign.org ) offended him. I guess I can understand how evangelical Christians could be upset at the banners, but I just find them funny. And you can't really make exceptions ... the evangelicals have been using buses for years ... with the alpha course and jesussaid.org banners. So why should the atheists not get a crack at it? Interestingly enough ... people seem to be a lot more passionate about the atheist campaign than by the alpha or jesussaid campaigns. Compare http://www.justgiving.com/alphaposters/ with http://www.justgiving.com/atheistbus . The difference is astounding, and quite funny. Who knows ... Perhaps this is people saying that Christianity needs to find a message that includes people, rather than attempts to scare them into submission and conformity? That the Church should focus on how it can serve people, rather than dictate to them? That Christians should not feel so threatened by people who don't conform to their method of thinking, but should be ready to share the playing field and hear (and understand) their views? That the Church is in no position to focus on how it can exclude people ... it should focus on how it can include and welcome them and celebrate their differences? For that reason, I reckon the atheist bus campaign is a good thing. At least it encourages discussion and inclusion.

Bizarre...

Who would have thought they would ever see the day when footballers were better at expressing God's will than the pope? I guess it ties in with the commonly felt notion that football stadiums are the new cathedrals. Perhaps footballers have now become the proclaimers of Good News to the masses, and the pope is now an overpaid, overly dramatic individual with an over-full wardrobe, a distorted sense of reality and a home that's oversized? http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/news-and-comment/beckham-fights-antigay-prejudice-1228180.html

Benedict the bulldog

What do I think of the Pope's recent hateful comments that will no doubt give rise to new enthusiasm for homophobic attacks and discrimination? Well ... the thing i've learned is that the pope has authority, but he doesn't represent all Catholics, pretty much the same as Bush didn't represent all Americans, Mugabe doesn't represent all Zimbabweans and Osama doesn't represent all Muslims. What it shows, is that - sadly - the loudest voices aren't always from the best people, and often the people with the loudest voices, not the best character, end up in positions of leadership.  It would be a mistake to judge all those under them by their misguided behaviour.

Some informed and inclusive thoughts ...

I am encouraged today by a few pieces in a recent edition of the Church
Times ...
Firstly, by an article in the Comments section, by Dr Michael King.
http://www.churchtimes.co.uk/content.asp?id=60752
Secondly, of some interest are the letters in the same edition ...
http://www.churchtimes.co.uk/content.asp?id=60769
And thirdly, not from the Church Times, but a link I've often mentioned
before which is good for generating some informed discussion is
http://www.wouldjesusdiscriminate.org/ , which also has a very good video
introduction.

The Christmas Broadcast, 1957

Awesome dedication and commitment!

Trinity Sunday

Parish news insert I wrote for Trinity Sunday:

The news this week seems to have only gotten worse. It reinforces what I
mentioned last week that it is absolutely vital that we stand together as
human beings, leaning on each other and offering each other love and
support.
This is backed up by our second reading this Sunday, in which we're told
to agree with one another, to live in peace and the God of love and peace
will be with us.
A poem that I have received a lot of inspiration from this year, is one
written for the Holocaust Memorial Day.

HOPE FOR THE FUTURE
Pledge for National Holocaust Memorial Day 2008
Everyone has a right to be free,
Where there is no freedom for others,
There is no freedom for me.
Everyone has a right to be different,
Where there is no respect for difference,
There can be no respect for me.
There is HOPE for a safer future if I protect liberty,
If I RESPECT others,
Others will RESPECT me.
© Roger Cliffe-Thompson, Liverpool Poet
With warmest blessings,
Andy

Trinity 1 - why worry?

My column for the parish newsletter for Trinity 1:

Our gospel reading for this morning contains some great advice, which I
only wish I could follow.
Worrying is what I do - it's not a preferred pastime, but one which I have
become rather good at over the years.
However, I like to think that I've gotten a little better at recognising
those things that aren't worth worrying about, or that worrying about will
not actually make any easier.

For example, last week I worried a lot about what to preach on Trinity
Sunday, but when I discovered on Trinity Sunday that I was in the vestry
at St. Mary's and my sermon notes were in my study at home, I didn't
really worry at all. The one I could do something about, the other not.
Perhaps that's a good place to start - worry only about the things that
are worth worrying about. Perhaps we should do less worrying and more
planning.

I think there is great wisdom in recognising when worrying will not
actually help a situation at all, and in knowing how to let go of those
worries. Worrying about your speed in a traffic jam, worrying about
whether or not you'll have a job in 5 years, worrying about whether we'll
have sunshine over the weekend, worrying about whether or not someone
likes you - I could go on and on ? these are all examples of futile
worrying.

However, to stretch the metaphor a little, what we can do is try and avoid
heavy traffic routes, or keep performing well at work and looking for
opportunities to add more skills to our CV's, or have a plan B in case it
rains, or work to earn someone's trust and friendship - these are all
perhaps ways in which planning can be beneficial, while worrying can't.
That way there SHOULD be less to worry about, but I know that that's not
always the case, either. Being absolutely in control is not often
accompanied by low stress levels.

I guess this is a prime example of a delicate balance that we only really
begin to learn about with experience and the wisdom that age brings.

And there I was, worrying about getting old!